Hello, my name is FaithAndReason, and I'm a recovering Mormon.
The Mormon Church has drawn a line in the sand. Last week, the First Presidency of the LDS (Mormon) church sent a letter to be read in all 10.000 US
congregations, urging its 5 million US members to contact their Senators in support of the Federal Marriage Amendment. Ignoring for now the
questionable timing of the vote (scheduled for 6/6/06), the brazen political hubris (the bill has less
than zero chance of obtaining the necessary 2/3 majority), and the irony of having the Mormon church advocate for "traditional marriage" despite its long and
murky history of polygamy... the question remains: why?
Why should the Church even care about "gay marriages"? It's not going to be forced to perform any (specious rhetoric notwithstanding.)
And unlike, say, the Episcopalian Church, there's no real internal split on the issue. After all, there are no "gay Mormons", since coming out of
the closet is grounds for excommunication. And there are no progressive voices on the issue: while there may be "progressive Mormons" (such as myself),
there is no progressive community -- any organized dissent, whether it be in the pages of Dialogue, Sunstone or the Student
Review, is quickly marginalized or silenced completely. "Alternative voices" are anathema.
So again: why would the Church expend political capital on such a pointless effort? Well, as many writers (including our own Jeffrey Feldman) point out:
when the facts don't explain a person's actions, look to their narrative. I can identify three dominant, closely intertwined narratives
central to the worldview of the Church (and its members) that explain this action:
Narrative 1: It's all going to end soon.
If the debate can be framed as pitting the "traditional" against the "modern", then it's clear what side Mormons feel they should be on. Mormons, or more
properly Latter-Day Saints, take the "latter day" part seriously: we are in the endgame of the titanic battle between Good and Evil that has raged
since time immemorial, and the winner is foreordained. Thus, it behooves us to identify the winning side; and since History is ending soon, Modernity
doesn't stand a chance. Why bother to reconcile the past of tradition with the changes that are coming upon us, when there is no future? Better to
concern ourselves with being on the right side, which is a simple matter of identifying the Evil side and opposing it. Which brings us to the second
narrative:
Narrative 2: They're all out to get us.
The Church and its members have suffered intense persecution for much of its 180-year history. This has had the expected effect of emphasizing the Church's distinctiveness and separateness, providing a bulwark against the powerful incentives of assimilation. Even now, Church members in conversation tend to emphasize the Church's distinctive doctrines and ignore the broad areas of commonality with other Christians. Given this, the focus on "gay marriage" is a net positive, as it provides yet another rallying point and point of identification for "Us" versus "Them". In this context, even the renewed focus on the uncomfortable history of polygamy is a good thing, as it also serves to remind that we have suffered so long for our distinct views on marriage. And all that suffering is of course the most important sign that we are God's Chosen, placed here on earth to defend Righteousness in the Last Great Battle. Which brings us to the final narrative:
Narrative 3: We can save the world.
Mormons believe we have a sacred obligation to preach the Restored Gospel to every person who has ever lived. This responsibility weighs on us heavily, especially when we believe (see above) that we are the only ones who can accomplish the salvation of mankind. In a twist on MLK's famous dictum, we feel that unrighteousness anywhere is a threat to righteousness everywhere. Thus, your marriage is our business. It is our responsibility to weigh in on your personal choices, because to a large extent we are responsible for the outcome; only we can save the world.
Conclusion: A Fundamental Divide
This heavy sense of destiny runs smack into reality, of course. We can't affect the decision of every individual; and modernity already has triumphed. In the last thirty years, marriage has already changed irrevocably. No amount of wishing, or even effort, will put the genie back in the bottle. So how can Mormons reconcile this fact, such a dramatic shift of a bedrock principle, the apparent failure of their fundamental mission? Answer: they don't. We simply live in denial of the last thirty years. There is no synthesis, no resolution, no common ground on this issue.
And this frustrates me and saddens me most of all. I can live with the fact that a significant percentage of Mormons are unreconstructed racists or chauvinists, or hold other beliefs that are too outlandish for me to accept. I can recognize those ideas and "route around them", to use a computing term. But what I cannot handle -- especially now when I need support, guidance and clarity during my time of transition -- is denial about the changed nature of marriage. I need truth, not fiction.
Thus, this is the last diary I will probably post from an expressly Mormon perspective, at least for a while. Perhaps when I have a bit more emotional distance and clarity on my personal struggles, I will again view my Mormon faith as a support and comfort rather than a dead weight. We shall see. Meanwhile, I will keep fighting the good fight!