I love the poetry of Arthur Guiterman (1871-1943), and thought I'd share my favorite poem of his with you.
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He wrote some of the catchiest poems I've read, and I remember reciting them as a child. I've quoted from them often enough. Some of them were just macabre enough to satisfy the Bohemian in me and then satisfied the Goth in my children. His poems are why I love the Addams Family so much, and Charles Addams' New Yorker cartoons.
Without any more ado, here is my favorite poem (and not for the reasons you might suppose):
Strictly Germ-Proof
The Antiseptic Baby and the Prophylactic Pup
Were playing in the garden when the Bunny gamboled up;
They looked upon the Creature with a loathing undisguised; —
It wasn't Disinfected and it wasn't Sterilized.
They said it was a Microbe and a Hotbed of Disentery
They steamed it in a vapor of a thousand-odd degrees;
They froze it in a freezer that was cold as Banished Hope
And washed it in permanganate with carbolated soap.
In sulphurated hydrogen they steeped its wiggly ears;
They trimmed its frisky whiskers with a pair of hard-boiled shears;
They donned their rubber mittens and they took it by the hand
And 'lected it a member of the Fumigated Band.
There's not a Micrococcus in the garden where they play;
They bathe in pure iodoform a dozen times a day;
And each imbibes his rations from a Hygienic Cup --
The Bunny and the Baby and the Prophylactic Pup.
I apologize for the tardiness of this diary - I didn't get home from work until 9:00 pm, and had been there since 6:00 am with no lunch break!
Fortunately, there were a lot of good Top COmment Submissions that I can read as I eat my break/lun/ner:
TOP COMMENTS
July 16, 2012
Thanks to tonight's Top Comments contributors! Let us hear from YOU
when you find that proficient comment.
Eyesoars submitted
ozsea1 links to a very worth cartoon in his comment in therehastobeaway's diary gives a worthy lesson in Middle East history very much in the flavor of the original.
Eddosharbor submitted
Vidanto’s response to Rmoney having a tantrum had me laughing and wishing it would be true.
watercarrier4diogenes submitted
In plumbobb's idea for a remake of the original 'red phone' 3 a.m. phone call,Vayle brings us back to earth with this dose of reality.
From Chrislove:
In weatherdude's diary about Romney's embarrassing copyright "whoops," Scott Wooledge's response to ivorybill's question made me LOL. And here she is with that ukulele:
Publius Cornelius Tacitus submitted
dog in va questioned Mitt's business acumen in the Front Page diary by Jed Lawson
investorb submitted
jamfan's comment on Jed Lawson's front page diary
grover submitted
We can discuss the Romney/Bain issues all day. But Upper West distills the absurdity of it all so clearly and succinctly, further conversation seems rather unnecessary on TiredOfGOPLies' diary Everybody needs to ease up on Romney and when he left Bain.
puddytat submitted
kdoug comment shouldn't be missed on Joan McCarter's diary Republican set to filibuster transparency again.
JeffW submitted
Snapples has funny observation on cheesy Romney in Texdude50's diary Shocked but not surprised by the arrogance on display.
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TOP PHOTOS
July 15, 2012
Enjoy jotter's wonderful PictureQuilt™ below. Just click on the picture and it will magically take you to the comment that features that photo. Have fun, Kossacks!
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