Many of us here at DK have had that unpleasant experience with that urinary tract phenomenon called kidney stones. The latest of fellow kossacks is BFSkinner who notified us today of his latest episode with a post this AM;
Kidney Stone # 20 Something Yikes... I need mellowness
I have written of my own experience with kidney stones twice;
Mojo Friday - Stoned - Edition
Mojo Friday - Stoned II - Edition
In sympathy with BFSkinner and all our fellow kossacks who have experienced stones I'm posting the lyrice to Kidney Stones once again.
Kidney Stones
Sung to the tune, “Cover of the Rolling Stone”
Well, I'm a big tough guy,
But thought that i would die,
When I got sick the other night,
I thought, "I'm in trouble!",
I was bent over double,
And my wife was sick with fright.
She threw me in the car,
Sped right to the E.R.,
And they did every test that is known,
Oh, I cried like a baby,
Cause there ain't no maybe,
The doc said I have a kidney stone!
Chorus:
Kidney stone,
Oh man, it's a pain like no other,
Stone,
Geez Louise! It's hurtin' like a mother!
Stone,
Gonna go right out of my mind,
If I don't pass this kidney stone!!
Now I do like kisses, and I love my missus,
But right now I don't need hugs,
Just pour me glasses of water,
And pass me that vial of drugs.
Now I never thought,
I could be this distraught,
This sure is no way to live!
I sit here drugged and loopy,
With eyes red and droopy,
And they got me pissing through a sieve!
Chorus
Normal urination,
Would bring such elation,
If I could get this damned thing to pass,
Being sick is such a bummer,
To hurt like this is a pain in the ass.
I've got a busy life, with the kids and the wife,
But right now it all must be postponed,
This pain in my gut,
Really kicked my butt,
So, for now, I'm just gonna stay stoned.
Chorus
© Donna Daugherty 2004
On with the games!!
Mojo Friday Guidelines
Disclaimer; Kinda like the Pirates Code, they're just guidelines, meant for fun. They aren't hard and fast rules.
1) If you comment you have to recommend all comments. (in order to receive mojo you have to give mojo. It's only good mojo manners.)
2) Everything you say may be taken as a joke (so if you ask a question, expect a silly answer)
3) You must recommend the diary (and pimp it unapologetically)
4) You don't have to comment to recommend.
5) You can't steal my idea (right, like that ain't goin' to happen. It has in numerous forms, I'm flattered!)
6) Mojo mojo mojo mojo, mojo mojo mojo.
7) TexDem (that's me) is not bound by the guidelines. Neither are you
Mojo Friday Goals
Disclaimer; These are mostly here for nostalgia, the site has changed so much and the servers have been upgraded to the point I don't think we could fuck with the site with 1000 people participating. 2007 it ain't.
A. At least 300 different commenters and 1000 comments by 1:30 PM EST and 1500 by 5:00 PM EST Friday Night that it's posted.
B. 100 recommends for each comment, at least.
C. Stay on Recommend List at least five hours (this requires some strategic planning by you guys, refer to guideline #3)
D. At least 200 diary recommends. 300 would be better, spread the word.
E. And always, fun fun fun.
F. Have at least 75% average participation rate as seen here in the Mojo Friday Postgame Show by Woodtick and bjedward.
G. (New) Have at least 30 kossacks over 90% participation (see here for some tips).
H. Overload the servers with recommends, not to mention dominate Top Comments Mojo list. (we do tend to mess with the site with all of our recommends at one time)(also, to dominate the Top Comments Top Mojo we need at least 50 comments with over 200 recommends, see guideline B)
I. That's enough for now. (Have a suggestion? Post it.)
MKinTN posted a diary to help everyone achieve greater success called How to Succeed at Mojo Friday Without Really Trying.
For those of you new to MF (Mojo Friday) we have our own lingo about a few things. Thank's to MF'er Jez (the link will explain) go to this diary for a little more fun and explanation. Official Mojo Friday Snecktionary.