From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Energize an Ally Tuesday
Today's ally is a pretty simple choice, after Republicans turned their back on women in general and an organization that is 55 points higher than them in public approval specifically:
The Senate voted Thursday to let states block [Title X] federal family planning money from going to Planned Parenthood affiliates and other abortion providers.
Senators approved the Republican legislation 51-50. Vice President Mike Pence cast the tie-breaking vote after two GOP senators, Maine’s Susan Collins and Alaska’s Lisa Murkowski, voted with Democrats against the measure. Senate approval means the measure will be headed to President Trump, who was expected to sign it. The House voted its consent last month. […]
Most [Title X family planning] recipients are women, and two-thirds have incomes at or below the federal poverty level, around $12,000 for an individual. Six in 10 say the program’s services are their only or most frequent source of health care.
Dawn Laguens, executive vice president of the Planned Parenthood Federation of America, mocked Pence. “Mike Pence went from yesterday’s forum on empowering women to today leading a group of male politicians in a vote to take away access to birth control and cancer screenings,” she said.
PP's official response is here. The good news: many states will continue Planned Parenthood funding through Title X. The bad news: many others won't. And that's why we're shining this week's Energize an Ally spotlight on "the nation’s leading provider and advocate of high-quality, affordable health care for women, men, and young people, as well as the nation’s largest provider of sex education." If you can spare a few bucks, you can put them to good use via Planned Parenthood's donation page. And also make a note to vote the GOP bums out on November 6, 2018. It won’t fix our Trump problem, but at least it’ll fix our Congress problem.
More Cheers and Jeers below the fold...
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, April 4, 2017
Note: A quick scheduling and "fuck my cancer" update. Shortly after I post this, our backyard catapult will launch me to Mercy Hospital, where doctors will use a giant mallet to knock me out so they can insert a "mediport" in my shoulder. It's, um…it's like having my own little gas tank. They'll hook the chemotherapy nozzle up to it every other week, and also use it as an easy way to draw bl**d for tests. I, meanwhile, will use it as an attachment point for a therapeutic assortment of Bacardi mini-bottles and pharmaceutical-grade liquefied candy corn. Since I'll be out of action for the bulk of the day (I hope Michael records me babbling in the car post-surgery so I can win a million dollars on America's Funniest Videos), there will be no C&J tomorrow. When I re-emerge---hopefully Thursday, if tomorrow's chemo "orientation sessions" don’t last all day---I'll be, in the immortal words of Obi-Wan Kenobi, "more machine now than man, twisted and evil." But that'll mostly be due to the lightning bolt generators I'm getting installed in my fingers. (Hey, with Obamacare it's only a $15 co-pay, so how could I not?) ---Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Rogue One: A Star Wars Story comes out on Blu-Ray and DVD: 0!!!
Days 'til Free Cone Day at Ben & Jerry's: 0!!!
Percent of Americans who didn’t ascribe to any particular religion in 1972 and 2016, respectively, according to The Portland Press Herald: 5%, 25%
Amount in cash the Drug Enforcement Agency has taken since 2007 from people, without judicial review, under its "civil asset forfeiture" program, according to The Washington Post: $4 billion
Percent of Americans who consider North Korea our biggest enemy, according to USA Today: 57%
Total number of House bills co-sponsored by Speaker Paul Ryan that were signed into law since he was elected in 1999: 3
Amount paid at auction by the Smithsonian for a photo of Underground Railroad hero Harriett Tubman in her 40s, taken around 1868: $161,000
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Totally Random Opening Day Baseball Score:
Boston Red Sox 5 Pittsburgh Pirates 3
Meanwhile, at the Nationals’ game:
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Run, run, run, and…say cheese!
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CHEERS to an end to the dry-powder-keeping. Yesterday Senate Republicans in the Judiciary committee stamped "Grade-A Prime Federalist Society-approved Corporation-loving Judicial Activist" on Neil Gorsuch's tush and sent him on his merry way. Now he goes to the full Senate, where Democrats---say Hallelujah!!!---have the votes to filibuster his ass. When they do, Mitch McConnell will have a big decision on his hands: whether or not to go nuclear, securing Trump's too-smug-by-half nominee a seat with only 51 votes, but also green-lighting future democratic presidents to nominate the likes of Michael Moore, Khizr Khan, Hillary Clinton, and Solarpanel McSinglepayer. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, but for now I just want to say: congrats, Senate Dems---after rooting around the attic for so many years, you found your spine. And, by god, it still fits.
CHEERS to hungry, hungry hippies. It's been awhile since northern New England was the site of a C&J/Kossack meetup, but that's about to change. We just plopped one on the calendar for Saturday, April 29. The place: Flatbread Pizza (where the pies are made in an open-fire oven), on the Portland, Maine waterfront next to the Casco Bay ferry terminal and parking garage. The time: 12 noon. Says organizer nhox42: "Expect the usual scintillating conversation, peerless companions and excellent food! If we're lucky, we'll be able to discuss the upcoming impeachment hearings." To RSVP or get more info, email him at nhox42 [at] yahoo.com or send him a Kosmail. Hope to see you there!
JEERS to the good dying young. Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated in Memphis, Tennessee 49 years ago today at the age of 39, less than a day after delivering his famous "I've Been to the Mountaintop" speech at the Mason Temple in which he made it clear he knew he was in the cross-hairs:
“I got into Memphis. And some began to say the threats, or talk about the threats that were out. What would happen to me from some of our sick white brothers?
Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn't matter with me now, because I've been to the mountaintop.
And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land!
And so I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man.”
Our favorite Kingjuniorism resonates louder with every passing year, given the ongoing radicalization of the Republican party: "Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." His lips to their ears.
CHEERS and JEERS to making cents (and also losing a few). Being a world-renowned fauxconomist, I know how easy it is for my giant brain-thumb to tip various fiduciary scales around the world. So I'll simply stay neutral and offer this handy summary of the current climate in the business world with some traditional-media headlines. Caution---might be some minor whiplash ahead:
> Wheat crop to be lowest on record as farmers plant soybeans
> Consumer spending up tiny 0.1 percent in February
> Tech jobs thriving
> Judge approves $25 million settlement over Trump University
> McDonald’s switching to fresh beef over frozen in Quarter Pounders
> Republicans gutting internet privacy is just the beginning. Up next on the GOP agenda: scrapping net neutrality
> Economists not optimistic about coal comeback
> Tesla posts record 25,000 vehicle deliveries
> Ford, GM, Fiat Chrysler sales underwhelming
> Construction spending rises to 11-year high
> Maine jobless rate falls to 3.2%
> Legal pot sales up 34% in 2016
And this just in: through the miracle of online commerce, for a mere 11 bucks you can learn how to make a solid-chocolate Baby Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy II for all your friends, family, and blogging buds. Nothing personal, Cadbury Bunny...just business.
CHEERS to the red white and blue. On April 4, 1818, Congress finally got off its duff and officially proclaimed that the U.S. flag would have thirteen red and white stripes to honor the minty freedom freshness of candy canes, and one star for each star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. They also decreed that any politician who fails to wear a five-pound American-flag lapel pin 24/7 will thus and forevermore be branded "a filthy tyrant wretch in dire need of a caning." In other words, they got more done in a day than the Republican House leadership has in seven years.
CHEERS to the "Betsy Ross of the LGBT community." When I came out of the closet a quarter century ago, the pink triangle was still sporadically being used as a symbol of gay rights. Fortunately its days were numbered because nobody really liked using the Nazi-era design---the gay equivalent of the yellow star Jews were forced to wear in the 30s and 40s---to represent gay pride. Fortunately, Gilbert Baker came along in 1978 and, in a lightning strike of inspiration, hand-sewed the first rainbow flag that he got to see become ubiquitous around the world (including a post-Supreme Court marriage decision rainbow light-up of the White House). Sad to report that Baker has died at a much-too-young 65. Here's a fascinating glimpse into how his flag came to be:
In the ultimate act of generosity, Baker never trademarked his rainbow flag. He wanted it to be "my gift to the world." Long may it wave.
JEERS to the long and short of it. After he was sworn in, 68 year-old William Henry Harrison gave the longest inaugural speech of any president: 105 minutes. Here are some of the highlights:
9 minute mark "Okay, let’s break the ice with a little game of ‘Duck Duck Goose.’ Vice President Tyler, why don’t you go first."
30 minute mark ”So the guy looks at him and says: ‘The Aristocrats!’ Ha ha ha, great joke! But seriously...”
36 minute mark "I was thinkin’ the other day: I wonder if we’ll ever have a president who’s, like, a total douchebag cuz he’s filthy rich but also really stupid and wrecks everything cuz he thinks he’s such a ‘bigly’ dictator. Naaaaaah!!! So, anyway, back to my story about the frog and the loaded musket...”
42 minute mark "Hey, can somebody give me a signal at the 104-minute mark so I’ll know to wrap it up? Thanks."
62 minute mark "Aaaaaahhhh-CHOO!!!! I know, I know...say it don't spray it, ha ha ha…but anyway---[sniffle]---now there are 44 bottles of beer on the wall. Yes, 44 bottles of beer. Then you take one down and pass it around..."
93 minute mark: "[Sigh] Can we just all be really still for a few minutes and just, like, be? Let’s combine our auras and just…feel the love..."
The day was unusually cold and windy, and he delivered his address in nothing more than a pair of boxers and a swath of leopard skin draped over his shoulder. Bad move. 31 days later, on April 4, 1841, Harrison became the first president to die in office of either pneumonia or his doctors' treatment of his pneumonia. Pay your respects here. Try and keep it brief.
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Ten years ago in C&J: April 4, 2007
CHEERS to the light at the end of the tunnel. Word from NBC's Andrea Mitchell that we're roughly five months from the collapse of GOP support for Bush's war. Says Mrs. Alan Greenspan: "If there isn’t real progress by the end of the summer, that's when they're going to really break with the president." She added: "And if I'm wrong, you can join me for a three-way with my husband." And you guys wonder why I'm such a stickler for accuracy in media.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to twelve years of front-page silliness. We won’t be here to mark this cataclysmic blunder on the part of our beloved site owner, so we'll do it today. On tomorrow's date in 2005, sixteen months after our debut in the Daily Kos diaries, this little column got promoted to the front page by Markos. That fool!
I love to tell the story of that first day: how I posted C&J from my desk at work, then went to a meeting, then went to lunch, then came back to find an email from Kos asking me why I did something horrible with my html formatting that made the front page margins go kerflooey. You could almost see his arm reaching through the pixels to strangle me. To quote Rick Perry: "Sorry…oops." I'm happy to say that's the one and only time I broke the blog, and I shall carve the accomplishment on my tombstone.
Whether you're a long-time splasher or a relative newcomer, thank you for reading and supporting this snarky little pimple on the blogiverse's butt. I promise to continue focusing on the liberal issues you care about in a serious and sober manner. Just as soon as I run out of fart jokes.
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are youcheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"Just a thought. But as I survey the whole horizon, it has occurred to me more than once that the geopolitical dimension of the Trump/Russia scandal, questions of collusion, coordination, potential blackmail ... these may end up being dwarfed by the related story of Bill in Portland Maine's vast and overlapping ties to the post-Soviet kiddie pool underworld."
---Josh Marshall
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