From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Late Night Snark: Random Grab Bag Edition!
"[Trump said] he's 'an extremely stable genius.' Why can’t people understand that? He's not a maniac. Just ask his ten terrified underlings."
---Jimmy Kimmel
"Y'know, we talk a lot about elevating the dialogue, so I guess [I'm happy] that I inspired him to make a literary reference, possibly for the first time."
—Mayor Pete Buttigieg, responding to Trump labeling him "Alfred E. Neuman," on The Tonight Show
"The Republican-led Senate Intelligence Committee has subpoenaed Donald Trump Jr. to testify about his meeting with Russian officials. And so he wouldn’t be left out, Eric got a subpoena from Detective Pikachu."
—Colin Jost, SNL
"As Elizabeth Warren put it when she refused to appear on the network: ‘Fox News is a hate-for-profit racket.’ Which, in all fairness, would make it the first profitable racket Donald Trump has ever been involved in."
—Samantha Bee
"The 27 psychiatrists and mental health professionals who wrote that book about Donald Trump are going to have to find some time to explain Lindsey Graham."
—Lawrence O'Donnell
And this, addressed to Dear Leader:
"Just go the fuck away. Just go away and leave us alone. Don’t tweet, don’t talk, don’t appear on TV. Go away. Get out of here and we won't put you in jail. In fact, we got you your own island, and it's great. And everybody chipped in—Canada, Mexico, the EU—everybody chipped in and it's great. You're gonna love it, Donald. It's beautiful. You can do whatever you want there—have Diet Coke and McDonald's, and fuck other men's wives. And we're gonna pay robots to tell you how awesome you are 24 hours a day. And everything's gold! Gold chairs and gold towels and golden showers, you're gonna love it! Just go. Get the fuck away from us. Take your shitty fucking criminal family with you and get the fuck out. Leave us alone, and let America become a decent place again."
—Comedian David Cross, from his new Oh Come On stand-up special, on the grand bargain he thinks America will make to get rid of Trump
Holiday weekend. Hooray. Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, May 24, 2019
Note: We wish you a safe and hammock-filled holiday weekend. C&J will return on Tuesday, May 28. Probably with an errant lawn dart or two stuck in our foot, thigh, chest, head or buttock region. Because we hate to break with tradition.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til National Hamburger Day: 4
Days 'til the 56th annual Artichoke Food and Wine Festival in Castroville, California: 8
American servicemembers who have lost their lives in the line of duty: 565,000
Percent of Americans surveyed for a new Monmouth university poll who say it's time for a new president: 60%
Percent of voters in a Quinnipiac poll who say abortion should not be legal even in cases of rape or incest: 13%
Estimated cost to taxpayers so far to pay for expenses related to Trump's golf trips: $102 million
Number of the celebrities mentioned in Madonna's 1990 hit Vogue who are still living: 0
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Monday we also remember the fallen military canines. Iconic image taken at the War Dog Memorial and Cemetery in Guam…
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CHEERS to multitasking. As our endorphins go wild over the prospect that our first warm-weather holiday weekend (and the unofficial start of summer) is upon us, Afghanistan veteran and Columbia University veterans issues researcher Meaghan Mobbs remind us of the solemn reason for the occasion:
People have a “tendency to forget the purpose of Memorial Day and make it a day for games, races and revelry, instead of a day of memory and tears.” No, this is not a recent tweet or a pithy social media caption. It was uttered by a veteran in 1913, who felt the meaningfulness of Memorial Day was slipping through the American conscience. […]
in 2001, a Gallup poll established that only 28 percent of Americans knew the actual meaning and purpose of Memorial Day. A vast majority of the post-9/11 veteran population believes that the civilian public does not understand their or their families' problems, a belief shared by the majority of the general population. Moreover, half of Americans say the recent wars have made little difference in their lives. […]
As you enter into your festivities, be it a barbecue or a trip to the cemetery whose hallowed ground holds someone dear, commit to the potential of America. Seek out opportunities to engage veterans, past, present, and future, so together we can honor the sacrifice and service of those who have gone before while realizing the promise of an even brighter future.
And while you're at it, take a few extra moments to reflect on Dwight Eisenhower's words: "I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity." Me, too. Minus the living it part, but I'll take his word for it.
CHEERS to looming leisure. The summer season is officially here, and the #1 way to kick it off is, of course, by battling traffic. This weekend’s forecast from AAA is “Horn Honky”…
Nearly 43 million Americans will start their summers on a high note with a Memorial Day weekend getaway.
This long holiday weekend, marking the unofficial start of summer vacation season, will see the second-highest travel volume on record since AAA began tracking holiday travel volumes dating back to 2000, trailing only the bar set in 2005. Overall, an additional 1.5 million more people will take to the nation’s roads, rails and runways compared with last year, a 3.6% increase.
“Drivers in the most congested metros should expect much worse conditions than normal,” said Trevor Reed, transportation analyst, INRIX. "Our advice to drivers is to avoid the morning and evening commuting times or plan alternate routes.”
If you're planning an excursion to the beach or the mountains or the in-laws (lucky you), please drive with care and be sure to flip people off responsibly.
JEERS to (not much) fun with numbers. News this week that the mighty, mighty Great Wall of Trump is moving faster than…well, faster than a sloth on Ambien:
U.S. Customs and Border Protection has put up just 1.7 miles of fencing with the $1.57 billion that Congress appropriated last year for President Donald Trump’s wall along the Mexican border, a federal judge was told.
A lawyer for the Democrat-controlled U.S. House of Representatives provided the information Tuesday to the judge in Oakland, California, who is weighing requests from 20 state attorneys general and the the Sierra Club to block Trump from using funds not authorized by Congress to build the wall. … Douglas Letter said in a court filing: "Based on that updated information, it appears that CBP has now constructed 1.7 miles of fencing with its fiscal year 2018 funding."
And in other news, my brain has just informed me that I am now finally up to being 1.17 percent bored with all the winning.
CHEERS to knowing where "there" is. The 31st annual National Geography Bee reached its summit yesterday in Washington, D.C. and the winner is Nihar Janga, an 8th-grader from Canyon Ridge Middle School in Austin, Texas and the eighth Indian-American in a row to win. He gets a cool $25,000 in scholarship money and a free trip to the Galapagos Islands aboard the National Geographic Endeavour ll. So here's the final question:
“One-third of Norway’s northernmost country is in what plateau?”'
The winning answer is “Finnmark.” Unless, of course, you're a Republican, in which case your winning answer is, as always, "Benghazi."
CHEERS to Monsters of Mass Deception. On May 24, 1933 the Loch Ness Monster was "sighted" for the first time. For 86 years no one has ever been able to provide definitive proof that it actually exists. It’s like the Republican ability to govern of sea monsters.
CHEERS to home vegetation. Here's some of the haps on TV this weekend, starting tonight with a pre-Memorial Day MSNBC reality check by Hayes, Maddow and O'Donnell. (Yes, I'm on a last name basis with them—so proud.) Also tonight on ABC's 20/20: an examination of the Central Park Five case—among other things, Trump’s repeated condemnation of the innocent men puts him on the waaaaay wrong side of history.
New home video releases include the Liam Neeson actioner Cold Pursuit and the third Train Your Dragon movie. (Spoiler alert: Do not train your dragon with a rolled up newspaper, as it'll just light it on fire and then you're dealing with a whole different set of issues.) Two major sports events happen Sunday: the Indy 500 (ABC) and the final round of the Senior PGA Championship (NBC). The baseball schedule is here. Toronto plays at Milwaukee in the NBA eastern conference finals tomorrow night, and Stanley Cup game 1 between >>> BOSTON <<< and (st louis) gets underway Monday at 8. TCM has a 24-hour Memorial Day movie marathon with war-flick classics like Tora, Tora, Tora and 12 O'Clock High. And Sunday at 8: the National Memorial Day Concert on PBS, thankfully without any Trumps in attendance to ruin it. (Sadly, we won’t be so fortunate on July 4th.)
Now here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: House Democratic Caucus chairman Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY); Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D-MI); and Sarah H’yuckabee Sanders, who spends all of her time amplifying her boss’s assertion that journalists are traitors, has been eagerly invited to sit in on the show whose title she only hears in her head as “Meet the Enemy of the People.” Heckuva job, Chuck Todd!
This Week: South Bend Mayor and 2020 Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg. Plus evil-wrapped-in-humanlike-skin Rep. Liz Cheney (R-WY); and Installed-not-elected Sen. Martha McSally (R-AZ).
Face the Nation: 2020 candidate Beto O’Rourke; Sens. Jon Tester (D-MT) and Ron Johnson (WI); Rep. Will Hurd (R-TX).
CNN's State of the Union: NYC Mayor and 2020 candidate Bill de Blasio (D); Sen. Joni Ernst (R-IA); Justice Democrats executive director Alexandra Rojas.
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Rep. and 2020 presidential candidate Eric Swalwell (D-CA); and let’s see if Chris Wallace remembers to ask Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-Dixie) why his views on the justification for impeachment have done a 180 since the Clinton years.
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: May 24, 2009
CHEERS to President Obama. In his nomination of Sonia Sotomayor as the next associate justice on the Supreme Court, there can no longer be any doubt: #44's got the right stuff. And now it's our turn to hammer away at the Republicans the way they hammered away at us over Alito and Roberts. Say it with me loud and proud: "The American people deserve an up-or-down vote! The American people deserve an up-or-down vote! The American people deserve an up-or-down vote!" Ha ha. But seriously…the American people deserve an up-or-down vote.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to a brief moment of meta madness. We won’t be around these parts Sunday, so we’ll take this moment to wish a Happy 17th Blogiversary (our first prime-number trip around the sun in four years) to Daily Kos, the persnicketiest online kingdom of muckrakers and misfits in Blogger Land. It all started when a dirty fucking hippie named Markos Hemp Flower Rainbow Tesla Moonbat Benghazi Deep State Moulitsas emerged from his law-school cocoon, flapped his tie-dye wings on May 26, 2002, and proclaimed: “I am progressive. I am liberal. I make no apologies.” It's been all high-quality blah blah blah ever since.
"The" Daily Kos percolated for several months before I discovered it (via the Dean for America blog) and got addicted to the weekly 2004 primary “cattle calls.” (Revived for 2020 yeehaw!) After that, all hell broke loose and it's been a sprint for world domination ever since. (Finland signed its surrender papers yesterday and, in keeping with our time-honored custom, we ransacked the presidential palace but left some time to sweep their forest floors one last time before burning the place to the ground.)
Today we have an amazing Elections Team, a radio crew led by dulcet-toned David Waldman, an activism and community-building arm, amazing front-page and diary contributors, award-winning cartoonists who regularly draw a crowd, and groups within the community that focus on everything from environmental issues and labor to pooties and the day's top comments. Among our registered members: Elizabeth Warren, Barack Obama, Jimmy Carter, Stacey Abrams, Howard Dean, Stephen Colbert.
Despite the meta wars, sigh-inducing GBCWs, and the sheer crazy volume of information that gets posted every day, The 'The' "The" Daily Kos is still a vital national source of netroots-level analysis, opinion, issue-vetting, fundraising, snarking, storytelling and flying furniture, and only a fool would try to herd our breed of cats. So from all of me to all of you---especially you, Kos, our mighty Keyboard Kingpin and your “squadrons of rabid lambs”---Happy #17 from user ID #2574. May your hearts remain progressive...and your hands always be filled with pies.
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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