Sure, Michael Bay, go ahead, have your fun, make your Donald-inspired dystopian film. Guess what? It’s already all too real. And guess what else, something you should well know from the latest smash-’em-up that you’re about to release? There’s more there than you realize.
POLITIFORMERS: Beyond Good, Beyond Evil, Beyond His Vilest Imagination
[ Part I - II - III - IV - V - VI ]
Little did you know, but many of our most prominent politicians are actually super-powerful robots, hiding in our midst. This series profiles the Politiformers in the first decade of the new millennium, the Republicons and the Demobots.
No one thought that, riding supposed popular demand, the Politiformers story would ever quite go so far as to exhaust all sense, stretch spectacle into absurdity, extract the last drop of profitabilty, and make it all the way to its (admittedly logical) imperial-collapse end state. But now, here we are. And it just keeps going!
EPILOGUE
Galvadon
FUNCTION: PRESIDENT*
“You know, half these guys [say], ‘Torture doesn't work.’ Believe me, it works. Okay?”
Well, don’t say the cartoon didn’t warn you. The saner of his compatriots issue blatant cries for help and try to tie him down with interventionist constraints, but his level of craziness is so off-the-charts that it’s no use. His earlier self didn’t think things would work out this way, but now that they have, he subjects everyone on the planet to his every wrathful whim. The only forseeable end is in destruction: his own presidency’s, his enemies’, or everyone’s. How will we ever get out of this one? Tune in tomorrow!
* Loser of the popular vote, i.e. democracy
Pro tip: Mouse over the images and wait a sec to see the pre-mashup names.
This is the epilogue in a six-part series exposing the long-held secrets of the Politiformers:
I. Republicons - Sorcerers of Mass Destruction
II. Demobots - Inauspicious Study of Discernible Reality
III. Republicons - Pillage of the Damned
IV. Demobots - The Best and the Shiniest
V. The Rest of Us - Some Robots Are More Equal Than Others
VI. Epilogue - Beyond Good, Beyond Evil, Beyond His Vilest Imagination
The series will continue at the same time of day in the coming days, going back to Episode I next. If you want to cheat like a lousy Press Sweepretary, you can click over to an earlier version of these posts. Back when I wrote them, there was no one crazy enough for a proper fit with the Galvatron character… aaaand now there is. And are, by the basketful. Anyways, come back tomorrow for more of… the Politiformers!
Obtain the author's permission before reproducing this article in large part or in full. All Transformers comparisons in this post refer to (and in turn parody!) the "Generation 1" cartoon and movie (1984-1987), in the style of “tech specs.” Any crossover from the newfangled Michael Bay stuff is purely coincidental, I assure you. Imagery sourcing is fair use due to parody/commentary purpose, small size, and new composition. There is no affiliation with Hasbro or with the Democratic or Republican National Committees. The Seibertron and Transformers Wiki sites were useful for "research" for the series.