Greetings, aminal fans! I am back from the hopsital and it’s Moondai evening, so time for mischiefery with a mashery of Ogden Nashery (illustrated)! This will probably be shortish, as yours truly is on significant pain medication; but it is an Open Thread, so please feel free to post your favorite illustrated pomes in the Comments also too!
I feel strongly the title (I’ve had quite enough for now, thanks), but somewhat worse than the verse. But more power to the euphorious!
No Doctors Today, Thank You
They tell me that euphoria is the feeling of feeling wonderful,
well, today I feel euphorian,
Today I have the agility of a Greek god and the appetitite of a
Victorian.
Yes, today I may even go forth without my galoshes,
Today I am a swashbuckler, would anybody like me to buckle
any swashes?
This is my euphorian day,
I will ring welkins and before anybody answers I will run away.
I will tame me a caribou
Not sure about marabou, but that’s definitely a caribou — in a lovely setting!
And bedeck it with marabou.
I will pen me my memoirs.
Ah youth, youth! What euphorian days them was!
I wasn't much of a hand for the boudoirs,
I was generally to be found where the food was.
Does anybody want any flotsam?
I've gotsam.
Does anybody want any jetsam?
I can getsam.
I can play chopsticks on the Wurlitzer,
I can speak Portuguese like a Berlitzer.
I can don or doff my shoes without tying or untying the laces because
I am wearing moccasins,
And I practically know the difference between serums and antitoccasins.
Kind people, don't think me purse-proud, don't set me down as
vainglorious,
I'm just a little euphorious.
Euphorious cat doctor
I am apparently immune to morphine; it affects me not at all. Therefore, when I had severe pain despite high doses, certain medical personnel sneered at me as a “drug seeker”. Thus, some of the sentiments expressed herein are more to my liking tonight (emphasis mine):
Common Cold
Go hang yourself, you old M.D.!
You shall not sneer at me.
Pick up your hat and stethoscope,
Go wash your mouth with laundry soap;
I contemplate a joy exquisite
I'm not paying you for your visit.
I did not call you to be told
My malady is a common cold.
By pounding brow and swollen lip;
By fever's hot and scaly grip;
By those two red redundant eyes
That weep like woeful April skies;
By racking snuffle, snort, and sniff;
By handkerchief after handkerchief;
This cold you wave away as naught
Is the damnedest cold man ever caught!
[It helps if a friend will bring you a tissue!]
Give ear, you scientific fossil!
Here is the genuine Cold Colossal;
The Cold of which researchers dream,
The Perfect Cold, the Cold Supreme.
This honored system humbly holds
The Super-cold to end all colds;
The Cold Crusading for Democracy;
The Führer of the Streptococcracy.
Bacilli swarm within my portals
Such as were ne'er conceived by mortals,
But bred by scientists wise and hoary
In some Olympic laboratory;
Bacteria as large as mice,
With feet of fire and heads of ice
Who never interrupt for slumber
Their stamping elephantine rumba.
A common cold, gadzooks, forsooth!
Ah, yes. And Lincoln was jostled by Booth;
Don Juan was a budding gallant,
And Shakespeare's plays show signs of talent;
The Arctic winter is fairly coolish,
And your diagnosis is fairly foolish.
Oh what a derision history holds
For the man who belittled the Cold of Colds!
Polar Bears resting in Arctic Winter!
They forget that writers get the last word. Heh.
Please to remember that Pootie Diaries post twice a day!
The regular Pootie Diaries post daily at 1:45 pm Eastern (on Sundays at 3 pm Eastern)
and the evening Open Thread Pootie Diaries post at 10pm Eastern
Please to show ‘em both some lubs!
And almost finally, please note da roolz:
PWBPeeps is a group that posts a daily diary and nightly open thread for animal lovers. We share photos, seek & give advice about pet health and behavior issues, support each other in times of sadness and stress, celebrate together when times are good, and on most days have an inordinate amount of fun.
Tricia, we’ll always miss ya!
You are welcome to join us!
Here are a few not-too-onerous PWB rulez
Violate ‘em and we’ll say that you drulez
- Do not “Troll” the Pootie Peeps Diaries. If you don’t like animal diaries, there’s no need to tell us about it. Just go find some other diary more to your liking.
- Whatever happens in the outer blog STAYS in the outer blog. As in, no pie fights. This is a place to relax and play; please treat it accordingly.
- If you would like a pic from the comment threads, please ask the poster. He/she may have a copyright to those pics. Many thanks!
- There are some pics we never post: Snakes, creepy crawlies, any and all photos that depict or encourage human cruelty toward animals. These are considered “out of bounds” and will not be tolerated.
- If you’re not sure about an issue...please ask. Someone is always glad to help.
Finally, for those who might like to see our previous Illustrated Ogden Nash collections, they are here!:
The Serious Poetry of Ogden Nash, Illustrated!
More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Still More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Even More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Still Even More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Yet Still Even More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
And Yet Still Even More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Continuing Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Still Continuing Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Still More Continuing Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
The Resumption of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
More Resumption of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Another Resumption of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Still More Resumption of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
A Bit of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Another Bit of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
More Bits of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
This is an open thread! Please chat away in the Comments. Your intrepid diarist will try to engage, but makes no guarantees as to sleepytime. Enjoy!