Marjorie Taylor Greene, the legendary Flaxen Klaxon who’s never been shy about ridiculing and ambushing those she disagrees with, appeared on the Sean Hannity Turns Your Grandma’s Brain Into Sautéed Haggis Show Tuesday night. Naturally, she made headlines—after a few of us pressed our faces into George Foreman grills in a vain bid to wipe all memory of this caterwauling ayahuasca goblin from our weary cortexes.
Alas, only a George Foreman haymaker would have done the trick, as shite like this remains an indelible stain on our multiverse. You see, Greene, who was brutally free-speeched at an undisclosed, though presumably real, restaurant on Monday night, is now demanding snowflakey safe spaces—for MAGAs.
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No, I’m not kidding. Just watch this nonsense:
GREENE: “We are fed up. We’re fed up with Democrat policies. We’re fed up with the woke ideology being shoved down our throat, and we’re tired of our children being brainwashed into these same ideas. We want our own safe space, and we deserve it. And the federal government is so out of control, the debt is insane. We need to take power away from the federal government and rein that entity back in and truly let the states have the power and the control that they deserve.”
Safe spaces? What?
Take it away, Twitter …
Oh, come on now, Rep. Omar. You’re a U.S. representative. It’s awfully rude to point out rank hypocrisy among your colleagues.
Might I suggest Snake Island? Or if you’re worried she’d have too easy a time acclimating there, maybe North Sentinel Island. Oh, and this is a good point:
Oh, yes, that’s really easy to imagine. And kind of ironic in light of this:
To be fair, Hogg wasn't hoovering an Awesome Blossom or whatever, but still. He could have used a “safe space” right about then.
Oh, and to pile irony on top of irony, the conservative redoubts Marge wants to retreat to are literally unsafe spaces.
And, sure, I may have fallen asleep a lot in history class because I insisted on attending in a giant acrylic hamster ball full of cotton swabs and ether-spritzed pillows, but I seem to remember something about states clamoring for local control so they could, um, discriminate? Does that sound right? Maybe Congress needs to install personal water fountains for Greene and Lauren Boebert, since they’re separate but equally repulsive.
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And the spiraling federal debt? Hoo-boy. Don’t get me started on that one.
The growth in the annual deficit under Trump ranks as the third-biggest increase, relative to the size of the economy, of any U.S. presidential administration, according to a calculation by a leading Washington budget maven, Eugene Steuerle, co-founder of the Urban-Brookings Tax Policy Center. And unlike George W. Bush and Abraham Lincoln, who oversaw the larger relative increases in deficits, Trump did not launch two foreign conflicts or have to pay for a civil war.
Economists agree that we needed massive deficit spending during the COVID-19 crisis to ward off an economic cataclysm, but federal finances under Trump had become dire even before the pandemic. That happened even though the economy was booming and unemployment was at historically low levels. By the Trump administration’s own description, the pre-pandemic national debt level was already a “crisis” and a “grave threat.”
Hypocrisy, thy name is Marjorie Taylor Greene. (Sorry, hypocrisy. I know that’s a low blow.)
Meanwhile, because piling on Balloon Girl is kind of fun, it would be a sin not to include this illuminating exchange in which top Georgia election official Gabriel Sterling brushes Greene off his shoulder like a random strand of rainbow clown wig.
Oh, yes, Coke. It’s The Real Thing. Unlike certain crybaby congresspeople who shall remain shameless.
Marjorie Taylor Greene claims she was 'attacked' at restaurant; skeptics respond
Sign the petition: Marjorie Taylor Greene must be removed from all House committees
Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.