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Caricature of Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker
(Wisconsinites see much deeper deficits. The Press has a duty to broadcast these to the nation.)

A recent puff-piece suggested Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, the white-bread Republican candidate in all but name for the 2016 presidential election, has hit a few bumps in the road during his “Not-Campaigning Campaign Tour.”

“Scott Walker's Style Concerns Some Republicans,” a recent NBC News story, did a disservice to readers by failing to expose the darker, fundamentally dysfunctional nature of Walker's problems.

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U.S. Representative Mike Pence (R-IN) (L) and Senator Jim DeMint (R-SC) arrive for a news conference about their goal of permanently extending Bush-era tax rates at the Capitol in Washington, December 2, 2010.    REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst    (UNITED STATES -
(Pharoh sends National Guard to borders of his realm to capture and re-enslave “Prodigal Wives.”)

Pharoh Pence and the BPOE (Benevolent Patriarchal Overbearing Ediots), known colloquially as the Indiana Legislature, have concurred with loyal constables of the realm that miscarriage among the people of Female is a crime.

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(Republican ostrich speaks with head in climate-controlled location.)

In an unexpected move, the Board of Commissioners of Public Lands has voted to ban climate change within the borders of the Badger State.

The surprise announcement from Matt Adamczyk, one of the three commissioners on the board, was made to a crowd of reporters on the Capitol lawn. Also quite surprising to onlookers was the manner in which Mr. Adamczyk issued his statement, which began:

“Lit veh veginf vy shayinvk vat viwf zish polshiy changh, zhe Refublkinth leadershit honozhh zhe Progresif trudishin ov zith greath shite,” he said.

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(Admiring and Emulating the Kansas Model of Economic Collapse)

To quote Representative Rob Woodall (R-GA), “A budget is a moral document. It talks about where your values are.”

Boy, Rob, it sure does.

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Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker gives a commencement speech at Concordia University of Wisconsin Friday, May 16, 2014, in Mequon, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)
(Pretend Governor now Pretending he is Presidential Material...)

In a surprise move, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker has fired his aides and hired a public relations firm to replace them. SW&SD Ltd. has agreed to take over the governor's correspondence, press conferences and future in-state speaking events.

Citing his preference for endless campaigning over ethical governance, and the physical exhaustion that attends dodging reporter's questions at profile-raising events nationwide, the governor assured reporters that his new spokesmen were up to the task of concealing his agenda from the public.

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Scott Walker, Pinnochio
In a speech Monday that was punctuated by occasional cheering, the Governor of Wisconsin promised a sweeping transformation of the state economy.

“With this stroke of a pen,” said Republican Governor Scott Walker, speaking at Badger Meter near Milwaukee, “I continue an unintimidated campaign of economic reform from the top down.” He then signed the Right-to-Work bill into law and handed his pen to the CEO of WMCC (Wisconsin Manufacturers of Class Conflict).

Walker, who is also Chair of the WEDC (Wisconsin Economic Devolution Committee), a quasi-public entity, then spoke briefly about his vision for a new workers' paradise.

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Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, a prospective Republican presidential contender, said Sunday that he doesn't know whether he is a Christian.

“I don't know,” Walker said in answer to a reporter's question. At the time, the governor was leaving the Church of the Apostles in Wauwatosa after a 10am service.

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Wed Mar 04, 2015 at 11:10 AM PST

Coralling the Pig-Citizen

by Heywaitaminute

The last diary closed with a quote to ponder. It was spoken by the Pig in George Orwell's novel, Animal Farm: “All animals are created equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”

Rich Republicans took a demented series of steps before, during and since the last election cycle. Given their genetic disinclination to introspection, we have to point out to them how their actions, which in their damaged/warped minds appear cohesive, are actually the poison of unexamined, irrational fears.

But your neighbor, though Republican in thought, word, and donation-habit, is not rich. You two have begun an over-the-fence conversation in which you've shown that, while soil conditions in your lawn tend to promote the growth of Democratic campaign signs, you are not a card-carrying, flag-burning Marxist, socialist, communist, or Adventist.

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“He who controls the narrative wins the Field.” Hmmm, might just be the 21st century take on The Art of War.

Behind the Republican legislative victories in state and national government is a power grab by elite corporations and mentally diseased, ultra-right-wing wealthy businessmen. State governments have become the latest toy of the ever-avarous. Having schemed for decades to destroy trade unions, populated with ordinary Americans who want effective government, living wages, the right to exist(!) and an economic and social environment in which businesses and wealthy Americans carry a fair share of the financial cost of infrastructure and equity, the elite sensed a time of union vulnerability. Forty years of deregulation, corporate welfare, tax cuts for the wealthy, i.e., supply-side economics, had left the economy hollow, teetering on collapse.

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A previously unknown species of giant leech has been discovered feeding on the state economy in Wisconsin.

Biologists from the Department of Natural Resources, astounded by the sheer size of the parasite, and its baffling diet, have called in economic specialists to help determine the precise means by which it succors.

Cleaning staff were horrified to find the leech, measuring a full six-feet in length, slouched in a chair behind the executive desk in the Governor's Mansion. The much-swollen parasite was drooling anti-coagulants onto a copy of the proposed state budget.

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A previously unknown species of giant leech has been discovered feeding on the state economy in Wisconsin.

Biologists from the Department of Natural Resources, astounded by the sheer size of the parasite, and its baffling diet, have called in economic specialists to help determine the precise means by which it succors.

Cleaning staff were horrified to find the leech, measuring a full six-feet in length, slouched in a chair behind the executive desk in the Governor's Mansion. The much-swollen parasite was drooling anti-coagulants onto a copy of the proposed state budget.

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Wed Feb 25, 2015 at 01:10 PM PST

Governor Sockpuppet Skit

by Heywaitaminute

(Author's Note: I wrote this when Act 10 was railroaded through the state legislature. At the time I was also authoring articles to my labor blog, learning Adobe Premiere so I could edit the footage I taped of the protests in Madison, and reeling from the Great Recession. I had hoped to cobble together a production crew, obtain monetary support, build sets, hire artists to create the puppets, and post the finished products. I also attempted to eat and sleep at the time. If any of you Wisconsin Progressives are connected to talents who could help turn scripts like this into finished pieces, I'd appreciate hearing from you.)

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