One of the biggest adjustments I had to make when I quit smoking involved what I liked to think of as “break time” — both the built-in formal breaks you need to take as a smoker (over and over, all day, every day), and the informal, take-me-away-from-this-craziness break time that stepping away for a smoke provides.
As a smoker, taking a smoke break is generally your go-to coping strategy for a host of situations and circumstances. It’s your first, best coping strategy. It’s the reliable “old faithful” excuse you haul out for all kinds of scenarios. “Taking a break” is the Swiss Army Knife of reasons for ditching present company or delaying something or celebrating something or avoiding something. It had “coffee break” beat all to Hell (and I looooove coffee, so that’s saying something).
The mindless smoke breaks were routine, but a lot of them were very specific in their purpose, providing me with plausible excuses to step away from whatever was troubling or vexing me, letting me refocus my energies, defuse bad moods, take a little time away from the ringing phone or busy in box or demanding colleagues or clients. Stress-buster, time-killer, coping strategy, “me time”...however you frame it, it represented time to myself.
That’s an important distinction. We all need to make time for self care. We also need to learn to recognize that not everything that feels like relief is actually doing us any good.
Whether I realized it or not, when I was a smoker, my day had around 20 or 30 (roughly) five-minute breaks built into it. That’s a decent chunk of time, if you add it all up! I never realized just how much until after I quit, and I suddenly seemed to have a whole bunch of extra time on my very fidgety hands.
I also realized that I had somehow conflated “smoking” with “taking a break,” as if the latter could not happen if I were not doing the former. I have seen so many new or would-be quitters struggling with this issue, not able to wrap their heads around the idea of taking the same amount of time to just walk away (and not smoke) or take five minutes to themselves (and not smoke) or refocus for a few (but not smoke).
It’s a little harder to learn to navigate those stress-induced “breaks” without including the nicotine component, at least at first. If taking a smoke break was your typical coping mechanism for dealing with stressful interpersonal interactions or tense situations, you need to figure out new ways to self-soothe when those moments hit. Again, just taking a few minutes to walk and clear your head can do wonders. I have a dog who would always appreciate even a five or ten-minute stroll, but taking a turn around the block on your own (and taking a few deep breaths to steady yourself) can be just as effective. So is a brief, deep breathing meditation moment, or a good stretch. So is texting a friend to vent at the latest stress-causing indignity. So is throwing something at a wall or slamming a door (hey, it doesn’t have to be pretty, just effective!).
Who’s Your Little GUS Buddy?
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