Our son, who just turned 11, is a wonderful guy with a beautiful soul and a great, deep intelligence. He is smart, kind and empathetic; funny, a gifted draughtsman, musically talented and a good actor too. He's lanky and has broad shoulders and long legs and is tall for his age (always has been). He's handsome, too (if I do say so myself), with smooth fair skin, hazel eyes that look right into you, full lips, and straight hair that is one of those colors you can't quite figure out, like a mix between strawberry blonde and light brown, or between gold and mouse, and when he's in the sun, it glows like yellow fire with deep red and gentle brown underneath. Women have come up to him since he was a toddler, reaching out to finger his hair and to say how gorgeous it is. This has embarrassed him, until recently.
I say until recently, because he's probably starting to get interested in girls, and so he understands the attention he gets in a changed way, lately. He doesn't object when the women do it-- now, instead of recoiling or making a face, he rolls his eyes and says "that's what people ALWAYS say to me." He's taking it in stride. It's what women do. Girls like his hair. And I'm starting to think that our son is starting to like girls. Though we have very good conversations about a lot of things, and though he shares with us as he tries to figure out the world, he would never admit the girl thing in a straightforward way.
Liking girls-- standard for growing up into a "guy" or a "man," right? Unless one is gay, or transgender, which we don't know yet, he doesn't know yet, it could take him years to figure out, etc. etc. Most of the other boys in his cohort now come out and admit that they like some girls, and they have started to talk about girls all the time at recess and lunch (making "boob" jokes, etc.; at least, that's what our son reports). So this is par for the course and normal---- but what I want to know is, how do I teach him the wisdom he needs to know, to be not only a "guy" or a "man" in this process of getting interested in girls, but also, a mensch?
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