It has recently come to my attention that I am ignorant, not just ignorant, but shockingly so, at least pertaining to guns. I am ignorant of other things, I have learned, in varying degrees. These things include...
pot
A Man's Impending Execution
Routers
A Man's Pants
I assumed that surely these diarists were mistaken, I could simply not believe that I was as ignorant as they would suggest; I, after all, read DailyKos and the BBC everyday, so I assumed I was the epitome of a well informed citizen. But then it struck me, thats what an ignorant dummy would think!
Frightened, I quickly went over to NPR and took their weekly news quiz. A perfect score! What was I to think? According to my much beloved DailyKos, I was an ignorant schmuck, unaware of the goings-on around me, yet my equally beloved NPR suggested otherwise!
Seeking help elsewhere, I asked an intern in the cube next to mine, "Do you think I'm ignorant?" Slightly taken aback, she responded "Uhh, do you want me to think you're ignorant?"
More frightened than ever, and now completely assured of my ignorance, I raced over to the compendium of all human knowledge...WIKIPEDIA!
I quickly tabbed 3 of their random articles, finding the following
Director Michael Spiller
"Phew," I thought to myself, "I know about him, he's directed on Scrubs before, a show I like."
The next random article was about Jungle Man by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Thought not a huge Peppers fan, I had indeed heard this song once before, as a former roommate of my mine was a huge fan! Two for Two!
Finally, my last random selection was The Republic of Nauru, a small island nation in the pacific, with a population of barely 13,000. I had heard of this as well! As someone majoring in international politics, I had been required to take a course called Map of the Modern World (a rite of passage at Georgetown) that required me to learn every sovereign nation on earth and the history that lead to its modern borders.
Three for Three, I was saved!
Who'da thunk it, even once in a while my fellow Kossacks can be wrong...
UPDATE: ALAS! I AM INDEED STILL IGNORANT, for I was not aware of this man's fantasy football league. Woe is me!