From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Oh! More Things I Know:
> The annual Netroots Nation Fall Online Auction ends at 10 O'clock ET tonight.
> As unlikely as it seems, the book of "Romneyisms" will end up being thicker than the book of "Bushisms."
> Joe Lieberman leaves the United States Senate for good in 110 days.
> We're at the part of election season where GOP campaign advisors start smashing their cellphones against the wall in disgust.
> If you need some white noise to help you fall asleep, turn on your DVR and cue up a rerun of the GOP convention.
> The dumbest people on the planet are the ones who think an awesome night of entertainment is paying $50,000 for a plate o' vittles and a speech by Mitt Romney.
> What the new senatorial "Gang of Six" means for America is mostly that we're about to get fucked again.
> Collective bargaining is the devil's tool unless it involves NFL referees in which case it's God's greatest gift to humanity.
> If Mitt Romney was president, he would've already solved the crisis in Libya by declaring war on Iran.
> 100 percent of economists agree that jobs are a fairly reliable cure for high unemployment. We should test their theory.
> Democrats feel your pain. Republicans inflict it.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, September 27, 2012
Note: Just a heads-up that there will be no C&J on Monday, as we'll be attending a $50,000 a plate fundraiser that will be secretly taped and get me in a heap 'o trouble. Back Tuesday with a really long but perfectly implausible explanation.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the first, second and third presidential debates: 6, 19, 24
Days 'til the Apple Pumpkin Festival in Livermore Falls, Maine: 2
Obama-Romney matchup among likely voters in Ohio: 53-43
Obama-Romney matchup among likely voters in Florida: 53-44
(Source: CBS News-Quinnipiac-NYT poll)
Index of Consumer Confidence in, respectively, August and September: 61.3 / 70.3
Months since the index has been this high: 7
(Source: Conference Board via AP)
Years by which President Clinton (66) is older than President Obama (51): 15
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
Oh dear. I'm sure he didn't mean it. In Illinois' 6th Congressional District, long represented by Henry Hyde, Republican candidate Peter Roskam accused his Democratic opponent Tammy Duckworth of planning to "cut and run" on Iraq.
Duckworth is a former Army major and chopper pilot, who lost both legs in Iraq after her helicopter got hit by an RPG. "I just could not believe he would say that to me," said Duckworth, who walks on artificial legs and uses a cane. Every election cycle produces some wincers, but how do you apologize for that one?
---September, 2006
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Truth in songvertising
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Last chance to buy Keith's
soul encased in carbonite
CHEERS to the thrilling conclusion!!! As we mentioned up above the fold, at 10 O'clock tonight, the Netroots Nation Fall Online Auction ends. The bidding will stop, the auction paddles will fall silent, the winners will weep tears of joy and the losers will weep tears of loss. (Makes sense, right?) So before you get too deep in the weeds of your Thursday, you might want to head on over and
take another spin around the site. Proceeds go to help fund the Netroots Nation convention (San Jose next year) and its regional events. Oh, and I should probably mention that the coupon good for dumping six bags of "whatever" in Yucca Mountain and "Barbie's Dream Meth Lab" have been removed. I assume because they want to save some good stuff to seed the
next year's auction. Smart thinking!
CHEERS to awkward moments for union haters. Scott Walker, Paul Ryan, and all the Republican runners-for-office who tried to score cheap points by calling for an IMMEDIATE end to this TERRIBLE NFL referee lockout by ANY MEANS NECESSARY actually got their wish last night:
As it turned out, the NFL's nightmare scenario -- a team losing a game it should have won---was all it took for the league and the NFL Referees' Association to get back to the bargaining table and wrap up a new deal. … [T]he two sides have agreed to the details of a multi-year collective bargaining agreement that will bring the real officials back from their lockout and on the field for Thursday night's game between the Baltimore Ravens and Cleveland Browns.
And this morning all the Republican labor haters agree: collective bargaining is awesome! And now that that's settled, collective bargaining sucks again.
Claire vs. the Knuckledraggers.
They don't have a prayer.
JEERS to forgiving and forgetting. When Senate candidate Todd Akin made his "legitimate rape" comment (which, lest we forget, was no gaffe or goof but a position he's held his whole life), the entire Republican machine snarled at him to get out of the race ASAP. No, way, said Akin. And now that the last deadline for withdrawal has passed, the GOPsters are crawling back to take up residence in his Puritan embrace, including
Sen. Roy Blunt and the
NRSC. Of course, several inquisitors never left his camp, including Santorum, Gingrich and DeMint. If this keeps up, Claire McCaskill's gonna max out her credit card buying them all flowers and thank-you cards.
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Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
This is another edition of The One Word Answer Man. Kossack Patience John asks: What if I told you a Democrrat is gonna win Ron Paul's seat?
Squeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!
Now back to Cheers and Jeers.
Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
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CHEERS to the Founding Rabble Rouser. Happy birthday to scrappy Samuel Adams---second cousin to fellow hothead John---born 290 years ago today. His message in a nutshell: "Tyranny bad! Freedom good!" And also this:
“Beer and chocolate are two pleasures that should be enjoyed and savored."
Pay
your respects here. Then toast him with...I dunno, how about a Sam Adams? (Or, as he calls it, "a Mini Me!")
Joe Scarborough channels the
GOP's feelings about Mitt Romney.
"SWEET JESUS!" to on-the-tarmac training. This is so fucked up I don’t even know where to start, but let me try. Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan took their Mutt & Jeff show to Dayton, Ohio, where they had a rally at an airport. After Ryan got done speaking, Mitt thanked him and the crowd started chanting "Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!" Here's where it gets interesting: Mitt Romney then petulently stops the chant and, in the ego explosion heard round the world, makes the crowd
switch to "Romney-Ryan!" instead. Now, I ask you: if Joe Biden had just finished making remarks, and the President thanked him, and the crowd started chanting Joe's name, do you think Obama would be so petty as to kill the buzz and make everyone include his name, too? Would Bill Clinton have done that? Or Bob Dole or John McCain or St. Ronald or John Kerry or either of the George Bushes? Hardly. So, checking our toteboard, Mitt Romney is managing to make the following look really bad: Republicans, millionaires, Mormons, and venture capitalists. Oh, and also Romneys.
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Five years ago in C&J: September 27, 2007
"Who, me? But...but..."
OUCH to getting my neck in the way of the axe. Yesterday my boss called me from Florida on his yachtphone to give me the news that, after 14 years of faithfully selling ice to Eskimos for his company, I was FREE! Free to sleep in as late as I wanted. Free to file for unemployment. Free to start paying for my own health insurance. Free to find out what kind of sick, perverted things my neighbors do during the day. Free to get on the Metro bus and just ride it all day long in an endless loop. Free to accelerate my manboob-growing regimen. Free to walk around with a shopping cart plucking bottles and cans from people's curbside recycle bins. Free to embark on a slow spiral of bitterness and pissiness that will naturally lead me to city council meetings where I'll become the guy everyone rolls their eyes at when I enter the room with armpit stains and lots of questions about water rates and excise taxes. Free to grow kidneys in my basement lab and sell them on eBay (as "limited-edition collectibles"). Free to start paying a little more attention to those million-dollar offers from Nigerian princes in my spam folder. And free to continue not doing housework, only now I can not do it
from home!
There's an old saying that goes: "As one door closes on your fingers, another one opens and breaks your nose." I believe there's a lot of truth to that. I'm sure I'll bounce back, and if I don’t I can always think of a way to drag all you elite liberal employment lovers down with me out of spite. But for now, I think I'll start on my business plan for a...um...a door making company! Funny how ideas just pop into your head when you're free to ponder such things. [9/27/12 Update: Mere days later, y'all scooped me up and made me your personal lap dancer at Daily Kos. As always, my apologies if the Ben-Gay vapors sting your eyes.]
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And just one more…
CHEERS to getting me off the dime. In 40 days Mainers will be asked at the voting booth to approve marriage rights for same-sex couples…a repeat, essentially, of the referendum that failed three years ago. My biggest beef with the 2009 campaign was that the pro-equality forces never let gay people speak in any of their ads, and in fact barely showed any gay Mainers at all. It's like we were invisible. I thought it was a big mistake to hide us in the shadows, and vowed that I wouldn’t donate any money to this year's campaign until they gave us a voice. I'm happy to say that I donated $25 this week to Mainers United For Marriage after seeing this ad:
Pretty hard to deny equal rights to someone who might end up saving your home, let alone your life, one day. It's a super ad well done. If hardscrabble firefighters say it's time to let gay people get married…it's time.
Have a super Thursday! Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
“If Stench calls, take a message. Tell Stench I’m having finger sandwiches with Bill in Portland Maine and will text him later.”
---Not Paul Ryan
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