The Modern Fascist Candidate’s Song
I am the very model of a modern fascist candidate,
I gin up fear across the land and viciousness I advocate,
I tweet my fingers to the bone and cable news I dominate
To tear you down and smear your name and fill your world with spite and hate
My propaganda is the very best that I can propagate
I love Vlad Putin like a son, for he's my greatest surrogate
When I slam 2020 you will hear me bellow "cover-up!"
And whip my crowds into a froth by leading chants of "Lock them up!"
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I'll slap my name onto a wall so high that you'll get vertigo
Then round up all the immigrants and send them back to Mexico
In short, if you're not white and straight you have to pack and relocate
I am the very model of a modern fascist candidate
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My policies will drench the rich in ample sumptuosity
The rest will take what they can get, the freedom crumbs of paucity
I'll send my nukes across the globe with unpredictability
I'll build a statue on the Mall to my infallibility
And then just like a bolt of light—a 3am epiphany!
My cabinet will be fired and staffed with Bannon, Flynn and Mini Me
I'll strut and preen and bellow yuge just like all bigly autocrats
And when it all comes crashing down I'll blame it on the Democrats
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November fifth will be archived into the books of history
The fate of me and my red cap will really be no mystery
I'll lose to Kam’ in forty states, it's writ in stone, it is my fate...
(And totally RIGGED by the global banking system, believe me!)
I am the very model of a modern fascist candidate!