Monday The details revealed in today's breaking Trump administration scandal are so heinous, evil, and incompetent-yet-calculated that analysts predict they'll dominate the news cycle for weeks.
Commerce Secretary Howard Lunatic announces that any country imposing tariffs on the United States will first have to pay a 125 percent tariff tariff. And if they balk at that, he’ll impose a tariff on the tariff tariff.
Tuesday Today is the day you need to make sure you've sent enough money to the IRS to pay your income taxes. If you're in the top one percent, today is the day you need to make sure you've sent enough money to the Cayman Islands to dodge your income taxes.
The details revealed in today's Trump administration scandal are so heinous, evil, and incompetent-yet-calculated that analysts predict they'll wipe yesterday's scandal off the map and dominate the news cycle for weeks.
All week: the MAGA economic strategy continues.
Wednesday The two-week House recess continues. As Democratic members of Congress step up to lead town hall meetings in red districts, Republican members of Congress declare town hall meetings DEI, woke, communist, inflationary, deficit-creating, un-American, and anything else they can think of to justify the reason they're tweeting from a broom closet in their basement.
The details revealed in today's Trump administration scandal are so heinous, evil, and incompetent-yet-calculated that analysts predict they'll wipe yesterday's scandal off the map and dominate the news cycle for weeks.
Thursday A conservative podcaster apologizes for comparing LGBTQ people to Hitler, vowing that in the future he’ll only compare them to George Soros. Stephen Miller reluctantly calls the director of ICE to cancel his kidnapping and deportation to a torture prison.
The details revealed in today's Trump administration scandal are so heinous, evil, and incompetent-yet-calculated that analysts predict they'll wipe yesterday's scandal off the map and dominate the news cycle for weeks.
Friday All the U.S. markets are closed today for Good Friday. Thank Christ, says every investor tied up in the markets.
The spring fiddlehead forecast is released and, once again, experts are torn between "sauteed" and "pickled."
The details revealed in today's Trump administration scandal are so heinous, evil, and incompetent-yet-calculated that analysts predict they'll wipe yesterday's scandal off the map and dominate the news cycle for weeks.
Saddle up. Let’s get this foolishness over with by suppertime.