For those who spent the last four evenings engaged in more productive endeavors than watching the GOP convention, self-flagellation perhaps, or reorganizing your betamax movie collection, below is a handy-dandy Cliff Notes guide to what you missed.
John McCain was a POW.
Even in the halls of Gooperville George W. Bush is the fart in the elevator...no one will claim him, everyone moves away from his stink.
Due to the abbreviated schedule, Wednesday became 'Mock Community Organizer Day,' and Thursday was spent ridiculing teachers and union members. Unfortunately the anti-Kitten, ice cream, and adorable toddler jihad was postponed until 2012.
The urban legend claiming that any person who endured the entirety of Fred Thompson's speech will die within 24 hours of viewing it can not be disproven as no one did.
John McCain was a POW.
Who is this 'Vice President Cheney' you speak of?
Mitt Romney's hair had a bad person day.
Marge Gunderson + Tracy Flick = Sarah Palin
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