Little Joke, Big Mistake

Fortunalee

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Sunday November 02, 2008 · 8:08 AM PST

2008/11/02 · 08:08

This morning at work, I received a distressed sounding call from Receptionist.

"Did you see the joke that Mr. XYZ is passing around?"

"No," I reply, "what does it say?"

She offers to bring me a copy.

Now, Mr. XYZ is a part-owner of the company. He's seriously up there in a position of power, with the ability to hire and fire. The receptionist is a lovely older woman who knows she's a liberal afloat in a sea of business-powered testosterone-laced conservatism.

Fortunalee

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Friday October 10, 2008 · 5:33 AM PDT

2008/10/10 · 05:33

Barring assassination, heart failure, a sudden revelation that Barack Obama holds dual citizenship with France, or that John McCain is secretly married to Pat Buchanan, the next President of the United States has been chosen.

Now, the question is, will you afford the man - whichever one it is - the chance to prove himself loyal, trustworthy, brave, honest, sufficiently awake, boy-scouty and All-American enough to be President, or at the very least, competent?

I've been watching the Election 2008 Twitter stream for a week or so. Loving every minute of it, to be honest, because it's funny, informative, snarky, and occasionally maddening...

Fortunalee

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Saturday December 29, 2007 · 8:02 AM PST

2007/12/29 · 08:02

Course Catalog, Political Sciences:

Campaigning For President 101 - Learn the basics about campaigning for the top job in the U.S. It's not all shaking hands, learning to lie with a straight face, smiling for the camera and kissing ugly babies from Iowa to California. Successful candidates* have to demonstrate a working knowledge of both the United States and the world in general. In this course, you'll learn the caprice of Folly, and the power of Thinking Before You Speak.

Fortunalee

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Tuesday December 25, 2007 · 8:47 AM PST

2007/12/25 · 08:47

"Are you ready for Christmas?"

I'm not sure why that inane question from the bag boy at the grocery store struck me as so... well, inane yesterday, but it did. He'd clearly been taught to make small talk with the customers. Just seconds before he asked, the cashier had asked me the same thing. My reply to her was a blank look, and "Oh, I guess I should start, huh?" It was 11 a.m. on Christmas Eve...

Fortunalee

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Friday November 23, 2007 · 10:10 AM PST

2007/11/23 · 10:10

Late last month, the State Department, the Department of Homeland Security, and Customs and Border protection released a promotional film created by Disney (gratis) meant to persuade foreign tourists to come enjoy the United States. Problem is, Disney annexed part of Canada to do so.

A random commment on Wonkette made me think of only one thing:

Do Not Tempt Me.

Alas, I always was weak in the face of this kind of temptation....

Fortunalee

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Saturday September 22, 2007 · 10:53 AM PDT

2007/09/22 · 10:53

Saturdays On the Radio With George Part II

This morning, near the crack of dawn (ranch time,) me 'n my buddy George spent some real quality radio time together. It's a weekly thing for us. I might not see George for weeks and weeks on end, but come Saturdays, I know I can always count on a good old-fashioned radio conversation with him. He gets right on down here with us regular folks, and communicates with us in a medium we can all understand. We hemmed, we hawed, and once all the sewing and lefty-riding was done, we got down to the real business of standing up tall and proud in our saddles, trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored. George had grape juice, I had coffee, and we sure settled a few things between us. We always do.

Fortunalee

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Sunday September 16, 2007 · 10:13 AM PDT

2007/09/16 · 10:13

Once upon a time there were three Generals, who were to go up to Iraq to make themselves victorious, and the name of all three was "George's General."

Fortunalee

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Friday August 31, 2007 · 2:54 PM PDT

2007/08/31 · 14:54

Large first world nation seeking leader

Well established, 200+ year old first world nation seeking leader to run country, and help re-establish international reputation. The United States of America is seeking a new leader. Contract term variable, four and eight year terms available, depending on performance. Energetic, detail-oriented individual with a proven track record preferred. Must be willing to seek and take advice of others. People, project, resource, emergency, & budget management exp. required.

Experience or familiarity with U.S law, policies and procedures related to the Geneva Conventions, and/or common human decency, international law and diplomacy, and 3 years supervisory experience desirable.(1)

No idealogues, please.

Fortunalee

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Sunday August 26, 2007 · 3:50 PM PDT

2007/08/26 · 15:50

(This is a reprint from of a forum/blog entry I made elsewhere in Dec. 2005)

9/11 changed everything, he said, so we need to make some changes. We need to tap your phones if we want to, enter your house to search if we want to; we need to find out what you read if we want to, we need to put you in jail indefinitely if we want to, and not tell you why or ever bring you to trial if we want to. We need to torture your neighbor for information if we want to - oh, don't worry, we don't really torture anyone, but we reserve the right for the CIA to do so, because we want to. After all, you're an American, and Americans must be protected, he said. Most of us, anyway.

You can't tell anyone if you see us take your neighbor away though, nor tell your lawyer if we demand all your records. You can't call your lawyer if we detain you, or talk about why we did, even if we tell you the why. We won't call your lawyer for you, nor tell your family where you are. 9/11 changed everything, he said, and you don't want to help the terrorists now, do you?

Fortunalee

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Saturday August 25, 2007 · 11:35 AM PDT

2007/08/25 · 11:35

When is a summer camp not a camp, a work place not a place of work, adults are not responsible for children under their care, medical care doesn't have to be provided by licensed and vetted professionals, and a television production is not subject to laws governing filmmaking and television production? When you get into the shady world of "reality shows", and do your filming in a state two months before their laws that would shut you down are about to take effect. The latest huff is over CBS' "Kid Nation", (perhaps prophetically) originally titled, "The Manhattan Project."

I'm not big on reality shows. Won't watch 'em, actually. Well, except maybe for the Dog and Family Jewels. Not the same thing as what we're talking about here, though. Any show that says it "takes X number of ordinary people and... "

Bullshit.

That's right, I'm calling bullshit on the entire concept - and on "Kid Nation" in particular.

Fortunalee

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Sunday August 19, 2007 · 12:22 PM PDT

2007/08/19 · 12:22

Executive Order: Facilitation of Hunting Heritage and Wildlife Conservation
Presiduncially Annotated Version
or,
Let's Talk Plain: We need to sell guns and kill more animals. It's good for business, it's good for America, and I promised the NRA.

Through an amazing stroke of luck, the Eleventy O'Clock News™ has obtained a handwritten, annotated version of the Executive Order signed this week by the President. We've painstakingingly transcribed the whole shebang for you...

Poll

34 votes Show Results

Kid's Poll: With Summer nearly over, the weather is turning a bit colder. What is your favorite thing to do in the Fall?

34 votes Vote Now!

Kid's Poll: With Summer nearly over, the weather is turning a bit colder. What is your favorite thing to do in the Fall?

Go big game hunting

1 vote

Go game bird shooting

4 votes

Go wild boar hunting

0 votes

Go turkey shooting

0 votes

Go deer hunting

2 votes

Go rabbit hunting

0 votes

Go snipe hunting

7 votes

Play Outside

9 votes

Wimp out, stay inside and read a book

11 votes

There's Absolutely No Evidence

Fortunalee

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Sunday August 12, 2007 · 2:31 PM PDT

2007/08/12 · 14:31

(EX) - There's absolutely no evidence that U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney met via SecurePast™* link with Genghis Khan, 13th century Mongolian lawyer....er, warrior this weekend in Rawlins, Wyoming.

There's more below...

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Little Joke, Big Mistake

Can You Go Back?

Get A Clue U(niversity)

The True Meaning of Christmas

Fried Rice, Dipped In Oil

On the Rad-i-o

Three Generals and a Troll

Help Wanted: Looking for a Leader

The 9/11 Changed Everything Lie (an essay from 2005)

Hang 'Em High

Executive Order: Facilitation of Hunting Heritage and Wildlife Conservation

There's Absolutely No Evidence