Being as it is now less than 24 hours away from Election Day, we modify our regularly scheduled mischiefery with a mashery of Ogden Nashery (illustrated) to bring you pawlitical endorsements by the aminals. If you haven’t thought about these issues, the aminals have pawferences for you! Srsly. But first, to motivate you, Gentle Reader, if somehow you are not already motivated, Ogden presents to you his opinion (discovered elsewhere than at our regular mashery site):
Election Day is a Holiday
People on whom I do not bother to dote
Are people who do not bother to vote.
Heaven forbid that they should ever be exempt
From contumely, obloquy, and various kinds of contempt.
Some of them like Toscanini and some like Rudy Vallee,
But all of them take about as much interest in their right to ballot as their right to ballet.
A ballet moosical?
They haven’t voted since the heyday of Miss Russell (Lillian)
And excuse themselves by saying, What’s the difference of one vote in fifty million?
They have such refined and delicate palates
That they can discover no one worthy of their ballots,
And then when someone terrible gets elected
They say, There, that’s just what I expected!
And they go around for four years spouting discontented criticisms
And contented witticisms,
And then when somebody to oppose the man they oppose gets nominated
They say, Oh golly golly he’s the kind of man I’ve always abominated,
And they have discovered that if you don’t take time out to go to the polls
You can manage very nicely to get through thirty-six holes.
Oh let us cover these clever people very conspicuously with loathing,
For they are un-citizens in citizens’ clothing.
They attempt to justify their negligence
On the grounds that no candidate appeals to people of their integligence,
But I am quite sure that if Abraham Lincoln (Rep.) ran against Thomas Jefferson (Dem.)
Neither man would be appealing enough to squeeze a vote out of them.
So now that you do not want to be one of “those” people, in case your minds are not made up, here are our aminal enfursements:
TRIGGER WARNING: Images at some of the links are disturbing. We link anyway in case you want to review the facts. But if you go there, be prepared to avert your eyes. The illustrations are, of course, much better here.
Replace Steve King (R Idiot-Iowa) with J.D. Scholten
Pawsibly the worst hoomin on the ballot, King consistently votes against aminal welfare. He thinks dog and cock fighting are perfectly OK.
Make love, not war!
He thinks agricultural pesticides and horse meat are perfectly OK.
Uh, scuse us?? Vote neigh!!
He voted against Endangered Species Act protections, and for trophy hunting in Alaska.
Well, that’s just grisly.
Vote for his opponent, progressive Democrat J.D. Scholten!
If you would like to help GOTV in his district, call Mr. Scholten at 712-587-7109. Even tomorrow, some people need to be reminded and motivated to go vote!
Replace Pete Sessions (R Sexist-Texas) with Colin Allred
Cute ad and it’s only 30 seconds:
Pete Sessions uses his position as Chair of the House Rules Committee to keep aminal welfare bills from reaching the floor. In addition to marching in lockstep with Steve King on the above aminal issues, he blocked efforts to protect elephants from ivory hunters.
Tsk, tusk!
He voted to eliminate protections for polar bears.
Unbearable!
He thinks wasting federal money on lethal predator control, stressing ecosystems whilst not even saving livestock, is perfectly OK.
You’re ruining the ecosystem, dope!!
His opponent Colin Allred, on the other hand, is a civil rights attorney who has agreed to support several aminal welfare measures endorsed by the Humane Society, including the Pet and Women Safety Act to protect survivors of domestic violence and encourage DV shelters to accept pets.
No Furball Left Behind
According to his website, Mr. Allred plans to canvass all the way through Election Day! If you are in his area, or would like to see about helping from a distance, give him a call at 469-261-3829.
Elect Dana Nessel Attorney General of Michigan
Michigan’s current attorney general, Bill Schuette (R Bizarre-Michigan), cannot run for re-election as attorney general because of term limits. Hooray, you say? Not so fast: He’s running for governor. Not to worry, apparently it’s not going well.
So to the attorney general race: Democrat Dana Nessel is running against Reptublican Tom Leonard. We don’t know anything about him, but really, what’s to know beyond the R by his name?
Ms. Nessel prosecuted violence against aminals and enforced aminal protection laws as a Wayne County assistant prosecutor. She will protect civil rights and the environment. She lives with her wife, children, and several cats.
You’re our kind of purrson, Ms. Nessel!
Vote Yes to California Proposition 12 and Yes to Florida Amendment 13
Prop 12 will prevent factory farm aminals from being kept in small cages all their lives. This is healthier for them and for the people around them.
Sooo-unds like good idea to us!
Amendment 13 will end greyhound racing in Florida. You know the abuses. Most states already outlaw it. Let’s push Florida one step forward.
Not as fun as it looks!
DKos has been giving us fits, very slow to upload photos, so we’ll stop here. You can see the hundreds (!!!) of endorsements by the Humane Society Legislative Fund here. They are, unfortunately, nonpartisan, so a few Reptublicans have their stamp of approval because of doing something good for aminals (although we suspect if you look deeper, you’ll find a sleazy reason!). So ignore those. Otherwise, look below the top 6 rows of candidates to find them organized by state. Find yours or pick a favorite and, if you have any spare time tomorrow, contact the campaign and volunteer to get involved!
But at the very least, vote. Laws vary from state to state, but in 30 states your employer must let you off to vote if you can’t get to the polls otherwise (interactive map at the link!). In the rest, your employer may support your right to vote anyway. So take all your aminal-loving friends and families and go vote!
The campaigns are almost over!
Please to remember that Pootie Diaries post twice a day!
The regular Pootie Diaries post daily at 1:45 pm Eastern (on Sundays at 3 pm Eastern)
and the evening Open Thread Pootie Diaries post at 10pm Eastern
Please to show ‘em both some lubs!
And almost finally, please note da roolz:
PWBPeeps is a group that posts a daily diary and nightly open thread for animal lovers. We share photos, seek & give advice about pet health and behavior issues, support each other in times of sadness and stress, celebrate together when times are good, and on most days have an inordinate amount of fun.
Tricia, we’ll always miss ya!
You are welcome to join us!
Here are a few not-too-onerous PWB rulez
Violate ‘em and we’ll say that you drulez
- Do not “Troll” the Pootie Peeps Diaries. If you don’t like animal diaries, there’s no need to tell us about it. Just go find some other diary more to your liking.
- Whatever happens in the outer blog STAYS in the outer blog. As in, no pie fights. This is a place to relax and play; please treat it accordingly.
- If you would like a pic from the comment threads, please ask the poster. He/she may have a copyright to those pics. Many thanks!
- There are some pics we never post: Snakes, creepy crawlies, any and all photos that depict or encourage human cruelty toward animals. These are considered “out of bounds” and will not be tolerated.
- If you’re not sure about an issue...please ask. Someone is always glad to help.
Finally, for those who might like to see our previous Illustrated Ogden Nash collections, they are here!:
The Serious Poetry of Ogden Nash, Illustrated!
More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Still More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Even More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Still Even More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Yet Still Even More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
And Yet Still Even More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Continuing Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Still Continuing Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Still More Continuing Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
The Resumption of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
More Resumption of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Another Resumption of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Still More Resumption of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
A Bit of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Another Bit of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
More Bits of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
The Return of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
More Returns of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Quick Returns of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
This is an open thread! Please chat away in the Comments. Enjoy!