Person Standing by the Water Before the War
I live in a small village in Khersonskaya Oblast, about 9 kilometers across the water from where the russians are located. I would like to describe a little of what living here is like now, due to russia’s invasion & brutal attacks.
We have been lucky, our area has had what I would call a “light” war compared to other parts of Ukraine which have been completely devastated. It is difficult, but livable. My hope is that everyone who reads this, will try and put themselves in our shoes, think about what it is like to live like this day in, day out with no end in sight, with no hope for a better future.
We were occupied from the first week of the war, and freed in November after 9 months. There was a 2 week break after we were freed, then the russians started bombing. We have had weeks of quiet, then it ramps to intense for a month, then drops back to maybe 1-2 times per day. We have been going through this for 2 years now. For the past 3 weeks, the people in our village have experienced the russians bombing us day & night, drone attacks on civilians & cars, our village ambulance was hit by a kamikaze drone, and our little local fire department was also hit. More than 30 houses have been destroyed or damaged in the past 3 weeks alone.
Before the war, this was a beautiful village by the water. So peaceful & lovely. The main industries here were fishing & agriculture. Now of course fishing is impossible. The farmers are trying to keep going, the ones who are left, but it is incredibly challenging. The fields are mined, bombing is frequent, workers are scarce, and most of the farming equipment was either stolen during occupation, or the russians bombed it afterward.
Many of the people who lived here pre war have left. The bombing, the uncertainty, is just too unbearable. This week I drove to the nearest safe city. At the bazar I met a woman who used to live in our village but left to escape the bombing. As she was talking to me about how things were in the village, tears started running down her face & she started shaking uncontrollably. Just from chatting about local news, while standing in a safe place. Her memories & trauma run that deep.
People who who stay here are often older, or people who have farm animals and don’t want to leave them. Some of us are just stubborn and don’t want to lose everything we have…our homes (many built with our own hands), our land, animals, farms, gardens, most of our belongings- our way of life. Evacuating is a terrible displacement. It is a heartbreaking, terrifying, wrenching, an ongoing process that many do not want to go through.
Three days ago we had an especially bad bombing. I stay in the root cellar at night, otherwise I am woken constantly with the night bombing. It is impossible to relax & sleep in the house. You hear the bombs take off, then the whistle overhead, and suddenly your house walls feel like paper. In the root cellar, there is the illusion of safety, and at least you feel you have done as much as you can for protection. This night I was woken up by a concussion so strong that dirt was raining down the walls. The dog & cat were terrified. We all just crouched in the dark, sure the house was destroyed. I got up my courage to go up and look. As soon as I lifted up the door, I heard another bomb take off. This one hit even closer. The last one was so bad, I could hear pieces of the roof falling from above. We spent the rest of the night sleepless, worrying about what happened, but to afraid to go up and check. It is such a mixture of shock, fear & shame that it drains your strength.
The next morning, we found out two of our closest neighbors were hit. Everyone was ok, but there was a lot of damage. Our neighbor who had the worst damage, came over at 5am, ready to have me drive her to the bazar so she could sell her dairy products. Her husband was almost killed, her cows were seriously injured, one of her barns was blown to bits, and she would have lost everything if the bomb hit 2 meters closer to her house. Yet, at 5 am she is recovered enough to go and work. To do what needs to be done. This is the ordinary hero of Ukraine. A 55 year old woman, who just picks up the pieces of the only life she has ever known and keeps going.
What is daily life like here? We are bombed frequently day or night. We are so close to the front we hear the take off, then we usually have 3-6 seconds to cover before it hits. The past several weeks they have started attacking us with drones. They target ordinary people riding their bikes, walking on their property, driving a car. I guess it’s fun sport for them. We often lose electricity, but the workers are amazing at getting it back on. Sometimes within hours of the bombing. They are incredibly brave, working exposed, knowing they could be targeted at anytime.
If you want to drive to the center of the village to check on your elderly mother, you know you risk death or maiming by a russian drone. You can’t ever go for a simple walk with your dog. Ever. Even though you live in a beautiful costal area. Now only because of the bombing, but because the russians mined everything before they left. All of the windows in your house are blacked out… for 2 years now. You keep a to go bag constantly ready in case, gas masks in the root cellar, food & supplies stashed everywhere, medical supplies & cat carriers by the door. Always... just in case.
Yet the most important thing, is that life must go on. We all try to live our life as normally as possible. The animals need to be fed, the barns cleaned, weeds are pulled, gardens are planted. When you are working in the garden and a drone comes circling over you, you just quietly keep doing what you are doing and pray they will leave you alone. If you are cleaning the stalls and a bomb goes off, you shelter for 5 mins, then continue with what you were doing.
As one grandmother says when people ask her to leave…This was my great grandmothers house, my grandmothers, my mothers, and now mine. Why do I have to leave? Why is russia trying to make me? What would I do? What kind of a life would I have somewhere else? What would happen to my animals? I had a perfect life here before the russians. If I left, I would have nothing. This is why people don’t want to just leave, and this is heroism.
Friends in other countries often say to me, you need to do things for your mental health. I agree, but as I go down my pre war list of stress relief go to’s, most things are out. Go for a walk-no, take a bath- well if there is hot water (seldom) and if you can relax (questionable), meditation- until a bomb interrupts. Sitting for a few minutes and enjoying the quiet & being grateful we can still hold on is often the best. Enjoying a funny minute watching your dog or cats play. Those are the things that keep you sane.
Please I ask, if this glimpse into our lives touches you in any way…please call, write your congress person urgently and ask for support for Ukraine. We need American support desperately. Donate to United 24 or MAGYAR Birds (who is protecting Khersonskaya Oblast right now) or any of the great organizations helping us if you can. We are desperate for victory, and to an end of this war. We just want to begin to heal & recover.
