Eric Trump draws the short straw

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Tuesday April 30, 2024 · 11:17 AM PDT

2024/04/30 · 11:17

Eric Trump arrives at New York Supreme Court, Thursday, Nov. 2, 2023, in New York. (AP Photo/Seth Wenig)

I note that Eric Trump drew the short straw and had to make an appearance in court this morning after it was noted that not one of Don's family members bothered to show up last week to support him.

You can imagine how that family conversation went:

DON: I need someone to show up to court next week to support me. It looks awful, like all of you don't care.

MELANIA: Vee don't care, Donult. You know I am not kumink to that train wreck. Neffur.

JUNIOR: Dad, I---

DON: What did you call me?

JUNIOR: I'm sorry... Mr. President, Kim and I are leaving for Africa tomorrow to shoot endangered species.

IVANKA: Mr. President, I have the kids and---

DON: You have a nanny. You probably don't even know your kids' names.

IVANKA: Don't be silly. There's Joe, Theodore and... And... It's a girl. Weird name...

DON: I never knew your names, either, especially that other girl.

IVANKA: Arabella!

DON: Sounds like some kind of mushroom.

IVANKA: Anyway, I can't be in New York next week. And your other girl is Tiffany.

DON: Right. Looks like it's you, Eric.

ERIC: Why am I always the one that has to do this crap? It's always, "Get Eric to do it!"

DON: Because you're the dumb one.

ERIC: I'm not dumber than my brother!

JUNIOR: Are too.

ERIC: Am not!

JUNIOR: Are too!

ERIC: Am not!

DON: Shut up you two morons. Eric, be at court Monday morning.

ERIC: Okay, but I'm only coming Monday. Make Don Junior come Tuesday.

JUNIOR: I'll be in Africa shooting rhinos.

DON: Mitt Romney?

JUNIOR: Real rhinos.

ERIC: One day! Just Monday! Make Ivanka do something for a change!

IVANKA: You've always been jealous, Eric, because the president never said he wanted to date you.

ERIC: Shut up!

IVANKA: No, you shut up!

ERIC: No, you shut up!

...

Short diaries: Take my pole

Bob Johnson

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Friday April 12, 2024 · 8:12 PM PDT

2024/04/12 · 20:12

Have you had it with short diaries? Spend some time pondering my pole, then take my pole.

Poll

147 votes Show Results

Have you had it with short diaries?

147 votes Vote Now!

Have you had it with short diaries?

Yes

25 votes

30 votes

Kind of

10 votes

I could go either way

9 votes

It depends

9 votes

It's poll, you moron

10 votes

No, I won't take your pole

8 votes

This diary is too short

12 votes

You have logorhea

2 votes

I wouldn't touch your pole with a ten-foot pole

9 votes

Your pole is too long

3 votes

Your poll is too long

12 votes

Other (explained below)

8 votes

Exposed: European pols being paid to promote Russian interests. Are U.S. officials being paid?

Bob Johnson

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Friday March 29, 2024 · 11:17 PM PDT

2024/03/29 · 23:17

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson (R-LA) and Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) before President Biden delivers the annual State of the Union address, in the House Chamber, on Capitol Hill, on March 7, 2024 in Washington, D.C. (Graeme Sloan/Sipa USA)(Sipa via AP Images) — Why are some elected U.S. officials doing everything they can to derail aid to Ukraine?

Story tonight from The New York Times:

Czechs Accuse Men of ‘Russian Influence Operation’ in Europe

Amid news reports that European politicians received payments to promote Russian interests, the Czech government froze the assets of the men and a website, Voice of Europe.

The Czech Republic has frozen the assets of two men and a news website it accuses of running an influence operation in Europe that supports “the foreign policy interests of the Russian Federation,” the country’s Foreign Ministry said in a statement.

…

Citing unnamed intelligence sources, the Czech news media reported that politicians from Germany, France, Poland, Belgium, the Netherlands and Hungary had been paid by the Voice of Europe to promote Russian interests in the European Parliament.

The Belgian prime minister, Alexander De Croo, lent substance to those reports, saying in the Belgian Parliament on Thursday that “close collaboration” between the Belgian and Czech intelligence services had found that “Russia has approached” and “paid” lawmakers in the European Parliament to “promote Russian propaganda.”

According to Der Spiegel, the prominent German news outlet, one of the politicians who received financial compensation was Petr Bystron, a German lawmaker from the far-right Alternative for Germany party.

Why would Russia limit its influence operations only to Europe when the U.S. is (was) a primary funder of Ukraine in its attempts to resist Russian aggression? I think we can name some possible recipients of Russia’s “influence operation” including a certain Republican presidential candidate, a number of elected Republican officials and a slew of right wing media figures. (Tuck-Tuck sure loves him some Vlad Putin!)

And does this sound familiar?

In its account on X, Voice of Europe, which last posted on March 27, described itself as a source of “uncensored network news from Europe and the world.” However, a review of the X account turned up a potpourri of right-wing conspiracy theories, like purported statistics on sexual crimes committed by migrants, the harm done by Covid-19 lockdowns and “globalist censorship” imposed by the European Union.

The Voice of Europe’s YouTube page features interviews with prominent European politicians from far-right parties in Belgium, France, Germany, Italy, Poland and the Netherlands. Sample headlines have included: “China — not Russia — is the primary threat to the West,” “Germany is constantly pressured into escalating the war in Ukraine,” “Peace negotiations should also respect Russian interests” and “Nations states should be monocultural.”

Let’s hope this investigation continues to dig deeper into who is being paid to do Russia’s bidding in Europe — and here at home. And let’s hope the FBI and U.S. intelligence services are taking a serious interest in this case. We need to know who is on Putin’s payroll. There are some very obvious suspects.

The head of the Heritage Foundation believes the 2020 election was stolen

Bob Johnson

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Monday January 22, 2024 · 11:20 AM PST

2024/01/22 · 11:20

Kristen Eichamer, right, talks to a fairgoer at the Project 2025 tent at the Iowa State Fair, Aug. 14, 2023, in Des Moines, Iowa. With more than a year to go before the 2024 election, a constellation of conservative organizations is preparing for a possible second White House term for Donald Trump. The Project 2025 effort is being led by the Heritage Foundation think tank. (AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall) — These are radical, Christian jihadist nutcases dictating policy for the Republican Party

I don’t know how The New York Times missed the lede on this interview from yesterday’s Sunday magazine section, but they did:

Inside the Heritage Foundation’s Plans for ‘Institutionalizing Trumpism’

“People will lose their jobs,” the think tank’s president says about federal workers. “Hopefully their lives are able to flourish in spite of that.”

Near the end of the interview with Kevin Roberts, president of the Heritage Foundation, Times reporter Lulu Garcia-Navarro has this exchange with Roberts:

Do you believe that President Biden won the 2020 election?

No.

Can you tell me why?

Sure. I think there are unknowns. I don’t know the outcome, but that’s why I can’t say yes definitively. And I am no conspiracy theorist at all, as some of the election-integrity people on the right will tell you. Still a lot of unknowns about two counties in Arizona, multiple counties in Pennsylvania, Wisconsin. Is it possible he won? Sure. But can I say definitively that he won? No. Having said that, I was very vocal at the end of 2020 and early 2021 that that’s what we knew and the election needed to be certified. And so let’s move on.

Pretty much every bit of evidence has shown there was no substantial fraud.

We have an election-fraud database at Heritage that shows a lot of instances of fraud. What I’m not saying is that the examples in that database prove that Biden didn’t win. I’m not certain that he won.

Yes, this interview is mostly about the Heritage Foundation’s Project 2025 designed to, essentially, gut the federal government, but the fact that the head of the most influential conservative political institution is a lunatic election denier (and, sorry, Kevin, yes you are a conspiracy theorist despite your protestations to the contrary) reveals how deeply embedded the lies, paranoia and ludicrous conspiracy theories have become in the entire conservative movement.

Roberts is yet another far right (Catholic) Christian jihadist seeking to impose an extremist religious agenda on a vast majority of the population that strenuously disagrees with the right’s retrograde vision of America.

The entire interview is revealing, if unsurprising. Roberts openly declares his admiration of fascist Prime Minister Viktor Orban of Hungary and of Orban’s policies. He openly discusses plans to gut the federal government and install loyalists, especially in the Justice Department, in a second Trump administration.

Disturbing lunacy from perhaps one of the most influential conservatives in the country.

Fox News breaking coverage of terrorist attack at border

Bob Johnson

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Wednesday November 22, 2023 · 10:59 PM PST

2023/11/22 · 22:59

gene-simmons-home-deliver-box-set-31e29fe6-b093-43aa-bdb0-e3f54b6cf6e1.jpg — American rock icons target of jihadist attack... or something

Latest report from Fox News:

Middle-aged, anti-American terrorist driving a $300,000 Bentley on his way to Canada to kill American icon Gene Simmons, lead singer of Kiss, approached the border crossing and the bombs in his vehicle went off when he accidentally pushed the button for the detonator instead of the button for "self-driving" mode, instantly killing himself and his unidentified female jihadist companion, and the Biden administration, the U.S. Customs and Border Patrol, the Department of Homeland Security, Governor Kathy Hochul of New York, the FBI, the Buffalo Police Department, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, the CIA, the Deep State, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, transgender people, Black Lives Matter protesters, antifa and that one old guy from Arizona who was an FBI plant on January 6, 2021 are trying to keep the facts from the American people and also seeking to distract attention from the southern border where terrorists who are out to assassinate Gene Simmons and other American rock icons like Ted Nugent and Kid Rock are sneaking into the country daily.

WaPo devoted 17(!) writers to last night's non-event. Still no story on Mike Johnson's odd finances.

Bob Johnson

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Thursday November 09, 2023 · 8:44 AM PST

2023/11/09 · 08:44

Last night, Washington Post editors decided that they needed 12 reporters live-blogging the Republican non-event. Twelve! In addition, five of their right-leaning columnists ran a separate live-blog, bringing the total number of writers devoted to the irrelevant gathering to 17. And today brings (so far) eight articles about last night's meaningless get-together with more probably in the works.

Why? The five candidates on the stage last night are going nowhere. They are all down 40 to 50 points to Trump, and even this deep into the campaign, none of them -- including Chris Christie -- would go hard at Trump in the debate. Glancing blows, perhaps, but no candidate went after Trump directly and repeatedly.

In short, these “debates” are a joke.

How many reporters does the Post have digging into Mike Johnson, the Speaker of the House, who, according to his financial disclosure report, has no savings? He has no bank account, no checking account, no cash, no stocks or bonds and he owes a ton of money on his home including a mortgage, a home equity a loan and a sizable personal loan. Mike Johnson’s financial straits make him a serious security risk. Plus, he has publicly stated that he believes the Bible supersedes the Constitution when it comes to governing the country. He is anti-democracy and pro-fascist theocracy -- and he's second in line for the presidency!

Is the Post putting 12 reporters on that story? What do you think?

And today, they add an investigative story on Joe Biden joining a country club in the early 2000s. Seriously.

The Post’s slogan is,"Democracy dies in the darkness."

Maybe they should try shedding some damn light on something that actually matters to our democracy. Post subscribers expect journalism, not a blow-by-blow of who insulted who at some non-event.

What a pathetic showing from the Post. Expected, perhaps, but just horrible.

Will anti-Jordan holdouts cave? The odds are high they will.

Bob Johnson

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Sunday October 15, 2023 · 6:59 PM PDT

2023/10/15 · 18:59

WASHINGTON, DC - FEBRUARY 01: U.S. Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) (L) talks to Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH), Chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, during a business meeting prior to a hearing on U.S. southern border security on Capitol Hill, February 01, 2023 in Washington, DC. This is the first in a series of hearings called by Republicans to examine the Biden administrationâ€™s handling of border security and migration along the U.S.-Mexico border. (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

The New York Times reports:

Jordan Activates Right-Wing Pressure Campaign in Push to Win Speakership

Allies of the Ohio Republican, who must persuade scores of his colleagues to support his bid for speaker, are threatening right-wing retribution to any G.O.P. lawmakers who dare oppose him.

Given how nearly the entire Republican caucus has caved repeatedly to Trump, is there much doubt that even those GOP House members who despise Jordan, Gaetz and the rest of bomb-throwing Freedom Caucus will succumb to threats and elect Jordan Speaker?

Amy Kremer, a political activist affiliated with the Tea Party movement and Mr. Trump who also leads Women for America First, which organized a “Stop the Steal” rally in 2021, posted a hit list of 12 members on Friday.

…

Some conservative strategists close to Mr. Jordan believe he will easily be able to win over his detractors, institutionalists who put a high premium on a functioning government and projecting normalcy. Unlike the hard right, the strategists argue, staging a floor revolt simply isn’t in their nature.

“These 60 members are not voting against Jordan on the floor,” Russell T. Vought, president of the Center for Renewing America, a think tank with ties to Mr. Trump, and a strategist close to Mr. Jordan, wrote on X. “Take it to the floor & call their bluff.”

Over and over, Republicans have chosen power over principle, their elected positions over doing the right thing. To expect anything different this time is likely expecting too much.

The whispers of a deal with Democrats is, to me, completely unrealistic given recent history. Not only are less radical Republicans afraid of being primaried (even those in close districts), they are all deathly afraid of the vile and violent MAGA base. Are there five brave GOP House members who will stand up to these bullies?

We’ll know early this week. I am not holding my breath.

Poll

264 votes Show Results

Will Jim Jordan win the Speakership?

264 votes Vote Now!

Will Jim Jordan win the Speakership?

Yes

93 votes

171 votes

Donald Trump stars in 'White Heat' remake

Bob Johnson

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Saturday September 30, 2023 · 2:24 AM PDT

2023/09/30 · 02:24

Donald Trump poses with a gun. The picture accompanied a tweet by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, September 25, 2023. — Donald Trump prior to barricading himself into an upper floor at Mar-a-Lago.

Several months from now at Mar-a-Lago…

TRUMP: (Yelling from upper window) Come and get me, coppers!

FBI GUY: (Through bullhorn) We've got you surrounded, Trump! Put down the gun and come out with your hands up!

[Shot rings out]

TRUMP: You can't touch me! I'm still president!

[More shots ring out]

FBI GUY: Trump, this is your last chance! Put the gun down! Come out with your hands up!

[More shots reverberate]

TRUMP: See? I did buy a gun in South Carolina! I could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue, and my MAGA followers would still love me! They love me!

[Multiple shots echo]

FBI GUY: I'm giving the bullhorn to Melania!

MELANIA: (Through bullhorn) Donult, put down da gun. Eet is oafer. I em leafink you. I go lif with Vlad at Black Sea dacha. You are olt, broke and fat. Vlad, he haf seex-pack abz and no man boobz. And he haf beelyuns. You haf nuthink now. Geev up.

TRUMP: I'm on top of the world! Look at me, ma! Fred was wrong about me! I'm not a loser! I'm on top of the world!

[Shots ring out in quick succession. MELANIA turns bullhorn back to FBI GUY.]

MELANIA: (To FBI GUY) Heez all yoorz. I haf flight to catch to Moscow. Bye-bye.

TRUMP: You can't hurt me! I'm president for life!

[Shots echo]

[Fade to black]

Don's lonely night

Bob Johnson

Community (This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)

Wednesday September 27, 2023 · 6:58 AM PDT

2023/09/27 · 06:58

Secretly recorded conversation from last night:

MELANIA: Donult, I am leafink you. For goot this time.

DON: In my time of need?

MELANIA: You alvays neet. I go live with Vlad on Black Sea. Beeyuteeful dacha.

DON: I always knew you had a thing for Vlad. I rescued you from that godforsaken shithole country you lived in, and now you want to return to that crap with Vlad.

MELANIA: He iz real man. Seex-pack absz, not fyat belly like you. Besides, you vill have no munnee no more. Vlad, he haf beelyuns. Goodbye, Donult.

DON: I knew you'd turn on me. You're just like Pence. You're weak.

MELANIA: You are olt, fat and broke. Bye-bye.

[Door slams]

DON: I'll always have Ivanka.

[Furiously punching numbers on mobile phone]

IVANKA: [Through phone speaker] Daddy, I told you... Jared and I are starting a new life.

DON: Ivanka, I need----

IVANKA: Don't call me again!

[Click of phone hang-up]

DON: Ivanka? Melania? Anyone?

[Mobile phone ring showing Kimberly Guilfoyle calling]

DON: Oh, god, no...

Pick next month's right wing anthem!

Bob Johnson

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Saturday August 26, 2023 · 11:23 AM PDT

2023/08/26 · 11:23

This month's right wing anthem, "Rich Men North of Richmond," replaced last month's right wing anthem, "Try That in a Small Town."

Pick the title of next month's right wing anthem:

Poll

106 votes Show Results

Pick the title of next month's right wing anthem:

106 votes Vote Now!

Pick the title of next month's right wing anthem:

"You Ain't Takin' My Orange Man Down"

17 votes

"Mug for Your Mugshot"

3 votes

"Hankerin' for a Civil War"

19 votes

"Poor, Poor Deplorable Me"

23 votes

"Wasted Away Again in MAGAritaville"

37 votes

Other (Place in comment section, below)

7 votes

BREAKING: Portion of transcript from tonight's debate!

Bob Johnson

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Wednesday August 23, 2023 · 7:45 AM PDT

2023/08/23 · 07:45

This combination of photos shows Republican presidential candidates, top row from left, Sen. Tim Scott, R-S.C., Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, former South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley, and Vivek Ramaswamy, bottom row from left, former New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, former Vice President Mike Pence, North Dakota Gov. Doug Burgum and Governor Asa Hutchinson. (AP Photo)

UPDATE: Thursday, Aug 24, 2023 · 2:26:55 AM +00:00 · Bob Johnson

Holy shit. This is almost a word-for-word depiction of what is actually happening at the debate. Uncanny...

Don’t ask me how I got my hands on this. I will not reveal my source, so just forget about it.

What follows is a snippet of the transcript from tonight’s debate where Brett Baier asks the participants what they make of Donald Trump’s indictments.

BAIER: Governor Christie, I’ll start with you. What do you make of Donald Trump’s indictments, now totaling 91 criminal counts?

CHRISTIE: He's a common criminal and I expect him to go to prison. He's a lying, conniving threat to democracy. He’s an embarrassment to the Republican Party. Plus, he wears tanning spray and his hair is... I don't know what it is.

[CROWD BOOS LOUDLY]

BAIER: Vice President Pence?

PENCE: Constitution. President Donald Trump and I accomplished great things together.

BAIER: But he tried to have you killed.

PENCE: Constitution.

BAIER: Nothing?

PENCE: Constitution.

BAIER: Okay… Governor DeSantis?

DESANTIS: The weaponization of the Justice Department will end under my presidency.

BAIER: But what about his indictments, the 91 counts?

DESANTIS: We must stop transvestite story hours in our libraries, nationwide!

BAIER: Can you say his name?

DESANTIS: Whose name?

BAIER: Donald Trump’s.

DESANTIS: This is about our future, a future where we tell the truth about slavery providing growth opportunities for slaves.

BAIER: Say the words “Donald Trump.”

DESANTIS: We’re banning books about homos!

BAIER: Right… Senator Scott?

SCOTT: I don’t see color.

BAIER: I didn’t ask you if you saw color.

SCOTT: I know, but I’m just telling you.

BAIER: But about President Trump’s indictments…

SCOTT: Brett, I have a question for you. Do you think Donald Trump would pick me as his running mate? A black guy, a conservative, I’m smiley and happy most of the time…

BAIER: I have no idea. Governor Haley?

HALEY: I just want everyone to know that the Indian up here is Ramaswamy, not me.

BAIER: But aren’t you also Indian-American, Governor Haley?

HALEY: Do I look Indian? (Pointing to Ramaswamy) That guy looks Indian!

BAIER: But what about Donald Trump’s indictments?

HALEY: Witch hunts. But he could be guilty. Maybe. Weaponization. Biden. Other stuff.

BAIER: Mr. Ramaswamy?

RAMASWAMY: (Rapping) He’s a real cool dude who’s busy gettin’ screwed by da Deep State, da Deep State. He’s da man, da man, I back him when I can, against da Deep State, da Deep State…

BAIER: Got it. Governor Hutchinson?

HUTCHINSON: We would be crazy as a party to even consider or think about or possibly envision Donald Trump again as our standard bearer, our nominee, as the person to lead our party forward into the future at a time when he would be facing trials and prosecutions and possible prison time or some other form of home confinement perhaps, I’m not sure how it would play out because it’s a very complicated—

BAIER: And we’re out of time. I want to thank—

BURGUM: Hey! What about me?

BAIER: I forgot about you, Governor Burgum.

CHRISTIE: We all did.

BAIER: Sorry, Governor Burgum. We’re out of time.

BURGUM: This isn’t fair.

CHRISTIE: Life isn’t fair. Get used to it.

BAIER: That’s all we have time for tonight. Thank you to our participants, thank you to our audience here tonight and thank you to our viewers at home.

[MUSIC UP]

DESANTIS: (Yelling to the camera) How’d I do, Casey?

Tim Scott forced to become Black again in Iowa

Bob Johnson

Community (This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)

Friday July 28, 2023 · 2:39 PM PDT

2023/07/28 · 14:39

FILE - Sen. Tim Scott, R-S.C., speaks at a town hall, Sunday, April 30, 2023, in Charleston, S.C. Scott filed paperwork with the Federal Election Commission declaring his intention to seek his party's nomination in 2024. (AP Photo/Meg Kinnard, File) — So I know all of you conservative White Iowans don't understand, but slavery was not a job training program.

Just when Tim Scott was succeeding in dialing down his Blackness for the lily-White, right wing Christian racists in Iowa, he is forced to become Black again due to the virulent racism in his chosen party.

Tim Scott rebukes 2024 GOP rival Ron DeSantis over Florida curriculum on slavery

Sen. Tim Scott (S.C.) rebuked Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, a rival for the GOP presidential nomination, on Thursday over new state standards on how Black history is taught in Florida schools, saying “there is no silver lining” in slavery.

…

Scott, the only Black Republican in the U.S. Senate, strongly pushed back on that idea while speaking to reporters on the campaign trail in Ankeny, Iowa.

“As a country founded upon freedom, the greatest deprivation of freedom was slavery,” Scott said. “There is no silver lining … in slavery. … What slavery was really about [was] separating families, about mutilating humans and even raping their wives. It was just devastating. So, I would hope that every person in our country — and certainly running for president — would appreciate that.”

Speaking of DeSantis, Scott added: “Listen, people have bad days. Sometimes they regret what they say.”

No, Tim, Ron was not just “having a bad day.” And, no, Tim, Ron does not “regret” what he said. In fact, shortly after you made your comments, Ron doubled down and said you either stand with him or you stand with Kamala Harris.

“So at the end of the day you’ve got to choose,” DeSantis said. “Are you going to side with Kamala Harris and liberal media outlets, or are you going to side with the state of Florida?”

Tim, you're doing a lot of things wrong, but probably your biggest mistake is being a Republican.

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