Joe Biden doesn’t hold a grudge. Research suggests that holding grudges leads people to bring anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience. It leads people to become so wrapped up in the wrong that they can't enjoy the present. It leads people to lash out at others in destructive ways. It leads to depression and anxiety and poor relationship quality. It can even lead to poorer health and mental decline.
Joe Biden has an almost super human ability to not hold a grudge.
Before he announced his running mate, this image of Biden’s notes on Harris went viral:
“Do not hold grudges” — that was referencing his reaction to the press arguing that Biden couldn’t pick Harris because she went after him a debate. But it also seems to be one of Joe’s guiding principles in life.
During one of the debates Biden said this on Trump's attacks: "It doesn't really matter whether or not he's gone after me. I've got to be in a position that I think about the American people. I can't hold a grudge. I have to be able to not only fight, but also heal."
Listen to what he said there. It wasn’t that he wasn’t going to fight. It wasn’t that he wasn’t going to do all he could. It wasn’t that he wasn’t going to forget who trump was.
It was that he was going to be able to heal. It was that he wasn’t going to carry around a PERSONAL animus to Trump that would get in the way of good decision making in the campaign and positive behavior. It was that he needed to be able to heal from those attacks so he could fight for us.
Biden has never taken himself so seriously — or been so insecure about who he is — that he can’t get over things. He knows people have complicated motivations. He knows not everything is about him. So he moves on in a way that frankly, not many people can do.
For example, we all know about the amazing friendship Obama and Biden still have. But not everyone knows that Biden had to be able to get over slights in order for that friendship to work. It was not at all clear in 2012 if Obama was going to be able to beat Romney. At the time, Hilary Clinton was an incredibly popular Secretary of State and some on Obama’s team thought he would have a better chance of winning if he dropped Biden and picked up Clinton as VP. And Obama considered it. He looked at the data they brought him and thought about it. And Biden found out that Obama was considering replacing him in order to increase his chances of reelection.
And that hurt Biden’s feelings. But he got over it. Similarly, in 2016, Obama did not encourage Biden to run for the nomination. Clinton was already running and Obama worried that it would lead to a protracted fight that would harm the party’s ability to win.
But Biden got over those things because he doesn’t hold a grudge. Biden is a emotionally mature person who sees that not everything is about him. This may sound minor, but it is pretty hard to do and it is also really useful and healthy.
Joe Biden will be a great president
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This is Day 71 in my series 100 Days of Loving Joe Biden
Did you miss any of the 100 days? Here are links for all of them: